Monday, January 31
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck . i hate it when you mean so much to me , i could give up everything just for you , BUT YOU CANT . fuck this shit .
i love you like i always do.1:29 PM.
12th sunday .
we've walked a long way .
we've struggled alot .
we've seen alot about each other ,
and even thought of giving up .
if we make it , it's gonna work . if not , it's just gonna be one of the preloves . on the 2nd patch , you've become so gentle , caring and sticky , very much like how we were when we first started out .
but on the 12th satuday , the faithful devil sparked us off again .
i'm waiting for your call now . waiting minute by minute .. i'm not complaining . i'm just wondering if .. you really would be calling . cuz i feel like i've lost everything .. like all i've etched in you were sorrows and you'd disappear off one day . i don't like this feeling .. don't like it at all . it brings me to tears .. so .. vulnerable ..
i really love you dear , if you would feel it already , i really do . i really wish you won't give up on this relationship ever , but i wish you'd be happy too .. i'm so afraid i'd make you sad again , so afraid ..
ps , i love you like i always do ..
we've walked a long way .
we've struggled alot .
we've seen alot about each other ,
and even thought of giving up .
if we make it , it's gonna work . if not , it's just gonna be one of the preloves . on the 2nd patch , you've become so gentle , caring and sticky , very much like how we were when we first started out .
but on the 12th satuday , the faithful devil sparked us off again .
i'm waiting for your call now . waiting minute by minute .. i'm not complaining . i'm just wondering if .. you really would be calling . cuz i feel like i've lost everything .. like all i've etched in you were sorrows and you'd disappear off one day . i don't like this feeling .. don't like it at all . it brings me to tears .. so .. vulnerable ..
i really love you dear , if you would feel it already , i really do . i really wish you won't give up on this relationship ever , but i wish you'd be happy too .. i'm so afraid i'd make you sad again , so afraid ..
ps , i love you like i always do ..
i love you like i always do.12:08 AM.
Sunday, January 23
some things i would never understand .
why didn't you call me after i leave .
why didn't you stop me from leaving .
why did you walk off alone and not care about how i feel when you're angry .
it've got alot of things i don't understand . but it's ok .. i don't have the rights anymore . i shall not try to justify myself ..
i love you like i always do ..
why didn't you call me after i leave .
why didn't you stop me from leaving .
why did you walk off alone and not care about how i feel when you're angry .
it've got alot of things i don't understand . but it's ok .. i don't have the rights anymore . i shall not try to justify myself ..
i love you like i always do ..
i love you like i always do.1:31 PM.
for things that did happened .
there's a thousand and one emotion in me right now , just not any bit lesser than yours .
i feel awful , terrible , broken .. as much as you feel it .
asking someone i love to hate me , letting him think that i'm that kinda person when i'm not , letting go when i still love him .. seriously i have no idea what shit i'm doing .
drowning , perhaps .
this feelings sucks .
there's a thousand and one emotion in me right now , just not any bit lesser than yours .
i feel awful , terrible , broken .. as much as you feel it .
asking someone i love to hate me , letting him think that i'm that kinda person when i'm not , letting go when i still love him .. seriously i have no idea what shit i'm doing .
drowning , perhaps .
this feelings sucks .
i love you like i always do.1:20 PM.
“你很粗鲁，很没有女人味！”
“我不是装可怜，是跟你在一起，真的很累。”
"你饶了我好吗？"
“我不喜欢他，不管你和他是什么关系”
"对，你为我换号码，但我不会为了你换电话号码！"
“你爱怎么想，就怎么想。我现在不想说话。”
“如果那么勉强，就分了吧！”
“为什么你不会陪我玩？”
气起来时自己走，大声讲我。。
难道这些都是我活该？
i love you like i always do.4:03 AM.
the 11th saturday .
是不是睡一觉醒来后就会好很多？
我们分手时对的，但为什么会那么难过？
你还是用那张我们合拍的照片。。
和我的名字。。
那张脸孔，真的不属于我吗？
是不是睡一觉醒来后就会好很多？
我们分手时对的，但为什么会那么难过？
你还是用那张我们合拍的照片。。
和我的名字。。
那张脸孔，真的不属于我吗？
i love you like i always do.2:49 AM.
Tuesday, January 18
you make me feel like a whole again .
and if i have to add on , he believed and trusted me about things that happen on fb , he waited patiently at my house while i went to work on saturday , helped me reheat my dinner knowing that i'm hungry , opened the door and was waiting to surprise me from the lift , sticked post sticks in different places of my room while waiting (it really made me smile !) , remembered to switch off the lights when going in and out of rooms and toilet , remembered what i told him a week ago about cold cups and condensing water (when i myself forgot , he remembered promptly !) , and sleeping early and comforting me when i felt insecure .
and these ........ are my pressies ! yay ! :D
from isabel - a mug , towel and purple container in a cute and sweet happy birthday paper bag !
from carol - a planner with cute cartoon doodles ! cute ttm ! :D
(thanks dear , for being there to take a pick and all the wait .)
from my sis - a keychain from hongkong ~ heehees ..
from candy - a yellow water bottle with cheerful cartoon prints on it !
from candy - and a new bag !
and i'll always remember this bottle of hearts no man has ever done for me . i love it dear . thanks again ! ♥
i feel like a lucky girl . exceptionally contented today . i have a sister who studies on her own , more focused on academics than me , and hence i don't have to worry for her . i have a mother who makes yummy and delicious dinner almost everyday , and she has taught me things i couldn't learn from school , and even allowing me to make mistakes yet having a turn about . i have really cheerful and caring friends who eat lunch with me , and never complains about how little i contact them but always cherish our little conversations . i have a very charming and gentleman boyfriend who makes alot of effort to change for the our relationship . i have the luck of sitting beside a kind lady who helped me pick up my specs when i unknowingly dropped it in the bus . i have the luxury of watching tv tonight .. and many more !
i'm so happy today , mainly because of you . thank you once again . with you , my life is so much more stable and realistic . i hope you feel the same way too . muacks ! heehees !
i love you like i always do . ♥
candy peii-ed me watch movie today ! whoo ! though the initial plan was to enjoy the half-priced waffle ice cream at Gelare , this was the other plan i had in mind . i havn't been watching the big screen as frequent now adays but still , having movies to enjoy even on lcd screen's perfectly fine with me ! hahas . like last friday , we watched big player on the desky ! hahas ! got one part i watch till cry sia ....... >.<
after movie , we went to metro to look at some perfume . it's really nice that he bothered sniffing all the different perfumes i passed him .. thank you dear ! it made me feel really happy ! ♥ after the short browsing , candy accompanied me through the wait at the interchange , till my bus leaves his sight . super happy ! plus he helped me carry my lappy very initiatively the whole time ! what more could i say ? hahas . though got bu xiao xin (accidently) knocked onto something , but i guess it's ok cuz it was accidental . it's the sincerity i'm overwhelmed with . sweet and gentleman , what more could i ask for ! gawd .. all these talking makes me miss his smile ..
and if i have to add on , he believed and trusted me about things that happen on fb , he waited patiently at my house while i went to work on saturday , helped me reheat my dinner knowing that i'm hungry , opened the door and was waiting to surprise me from the lift , sticked post sticks in different places of my room while waiting (it really made me smile !) , remembered to switch off the lights when going in and out of rooms and toilet , remembered what i told him a week ago about cold cups and condensing water (when i myself forgot , he remembered promptly !) , and sleeping early and comforting me when i felt insecure .
dear , you really make me feel very contented . these little changes requires alot of effort , remembering and sensitivity , and you've done it for me ! i feel so proud of you , and so honored to have you ! thanks for everything you've done for me . imma happy girl with you in my life ! ♥
and these ........ are my pressies ! yay ! :D
from isabel - a mug , towel and purple container in a cute and sweet happy birthday paper bag !
from carol - a planner with cute cartoon doodles ! cute ttm ! :D
(thanks dear , for being there to take a pick and all the wait .)
from my sis - a keychain from hongkong ~ heehees ..
from candy - a yellow water bottle with cheerful cartoon prints on it !
from candy - and a new bag !
and i'll always remember this bottle of hearts no man has ever done for me . i love it dear . thanks again ! ♥
i feel like a lucky girl . exceptionally contented today . i have a sister who studies on her own , more focused on academics than me , and hence i don't have to worry for her . i have a mother who makes yummy and delicious dinner almost everyday , and she has taught me things i couldn't learn from school , and even allowing me to make mistakes yet having a turn about . i have really cheerful and caring friends who eat lunch with me , and never complains about how little i contact them but always cherish our little conversations . i have a very charming and gentleman boyfriend who makes alot of effort to change for the our relationship . i have the luck of sitting beside a kind lady who helped me pick up my specs when i unknowingly dropped it in the bus . i have the luxury of watching tv tonight .. and many more !
i'm so happy today , mainly because of you . thank you once again . with you , my life is so much more stable and realistic . i hope you feel the same way too . muacks ! heehees !
i love you like i always do . ♥
i love you like i always do.10:13 PM.
Monday, January 17
maybe it's time .
i've been thinking for quite some time .
还记得当初的我们那么迫不及待
还记得那时的我
说是因为你给我勇气
我不想让你矛盾
但那些事
我都还记得
sitting by the window , with the distant corridor lights lighted up like miniature buttons , and the very first song you introduced to me , i'm waiting for your reply . she's your favorite singer . it's my favorite song .
i don't know how tonight will end , this whole intervention .
i popped the question tonight , though he did mention it when we were halfway through the argument . the text was half done when he chatted with me on facebook . so i told him . it didn't have an immediate effect , but it was like a broken radio for me - playing , pausing , playing , and so on .
the wait was full of tension , but less of myself now . i just want to do the right thing for once .
everyone , i've learnt that being in a relationship can never be easy or smooth sailing . you'll always be stressed , in one way or another . ever heard of "if you want the rainbow , you've gotta have the rain" ? how about "no pain , no gain" ?
you've gotta be sensitive to one another's feelings , caring and loving . tolerating too . sometimes all the unhappiness may sum up more than the happy ones , but you'll know it's worth it - because it's with him . the details are kinda necessary , because it makes them feel noticed , cherished , understood and things like that . looks are actually not that important . it's more like .. you'll know what's attractive and what's cute about that person when you love them wholeheartedly . they're just amazing and shining in their own way . try not to ask them to change , but maybe suggest . not too persistently , but just a little bit .you ought to be able to accept some obstinate things even if it remains the same because that's how love is .
love is really serious . if you know you'll hurt them with your love , you'll stay away . but sometimes , you just can't bear to leave them , you just stick around .
i don't dare to define too much about others but that's how i feel . it's not all that i know , but part of it judging from how i feel right now .. so please don't comment or criticize my definition . say it gently perhaps , or just share your thoughts with me . but then again , my third wish .. is just hanging by the thread .
i love you , but i really don't wish to make you feel like i'm torturing you . i can't get things right , and either way , we piss each other off . i saw the changes . i really do . the tissue under the cup , the post sticks , the heating up of dinner for me , the texts and patiently waiting at home when i was at work , the trip to the supermarket , the hugs and kisses when i come home .. even coming over from causeway point on saturday evening was a thing that meant alot to me . many things you do , in fact , everything , it means alot to me .
i love you too much .. and that causes me to feel jealous when you care about someone else my gender . im sorry . love ain't meant to be selfish , but i guess you're right .. i am .
still , i just want to say that whatever your decision might be , i will respect it as long it makes you happy .
i love you like i always do .
i've been thinking for quite some time .
还记得当初的我们那么迫不及待
还记得那时的我
说是因为你给我勇气
我不想让你矛盾
但那些事
我都还记得
sitting by the window , with the distant corridor lights lighted up like miniature buttons , and the very first song you introduced to me , i'm waiting for your reply . she's your favorite singer . it's my favorite song .
i don't know how tonight will end , this whole intervention .
i popped the question tonight , though he did mention it when we were halfway through the argument . the text was half done when he chatted with me on facebook . so i told him . it didn't have an immediate effect , but it was like a broken radio for me - playing , pausing , playing , and so on .
the wait was full of tension , but less of myself now . i just want to do the right thing for once .
everyone , i've learnt that being in a relationship can never be easy or smooth sailing . you'll always be stressed , in one way or another . ever heard of "if you want the rainbow , you've gotta have the rain" ? how about "no pain , no gain" ?
you've gotta be sensitive to one another's feelings , caring and loving . tolerating too . sometimes all the unhappiness may sum up more than the happy ones , but you'll know it's worth it - because it's with him . the details are kinda necessary , because it makes them feel noticed , cherished , understood and things like that . looks are actually not that important . it's more like .. you'll know what's attractive and what's cute about that person when you love them wholeheartedly . they're just amazing and shining in their own way . try not to ask them to change , but maybe suggest . not too persistently , but just a little bit .you ought to be able to accept some obstinate things even if it remains the same because that's how love is .
love is really serious . if you know you'll hurt them with your love , you'll stay away . but sometimes , you just can't bear to leave them , you just stick around .
i don't dare to define too much about others but that's how i feel . it's not all that i know , but part of it judging from how i feel right now .. so please don't comment or criticize my definition . say it gently perhaps , or just share your thoughts with me . but then again , my third wish .. is just hanging by the thread .
i love you , but i really don't wish to make you feel like i'm torturing you . i can't get things right , and either way , we piss each other off . i saw the changes . i really do . the tissue under the cup , the post sticks , the heating up of dinner for me , the texts and patiently waiting at home when i was at work , the trip to the supermarket , the hugs and kisses when i come home .. even coming over from causeway point on saturday evening was a thing that meant alot to me . many things you do , in fact , everything , it means alot to me .
i love you too much .. and that causes me to feel jealous when you care about someone else my gender . im sorry . love ain't meant to be selfish , but i guess you're right .. i am .
still , i just want to say that whatever your decision might be , i will respect it as long it makes you happy .
i love you like i always do .
i love you like i always do.1:11 AM.
Thursday, January 13
baby steps .
i'm really sorry that at times , i'm just so hard to handle , i cling on too close , and that i question too much . i didn't mean to push things to this extent . i really love you , really just wanna be with you , feel that you're always gonna be there for me .. that's all ..
i really wanna understand your thoughts , no matter how harsh it is . i wanna learn how to give in , no matter how difficult that is for me . i wanna learn how to apologize , no matter how angry i feel at that moment . i wanna live with you , because i believe we can .
it's like what you've said . it's not about who's best with who , but who can make it through with who . and like i've once promised , i'll give my best .
i love you like i always do .
i'm really sorry that at times , i'm just so hard to handle , i cling on too close , and that i question too much . i didn't mean to push things to this extent . i really love you , really just wanna be with you , feel that you're always gonna be there for me .. that's all ..
i really wanna understand your thoughts , no matter how harsh it is . i wanna learn how to give in , no matter how difficult that is for me . i wanna learn how to apologize , no matter how angry i feel at that moment . i wanna live with you , because i believe we can .
it's like what you've said . it's not about who's best with who , but who can make it through with who . and like i've once promised , i'll give my best .
i love you like i always do .
i love you like i always do.11:06 PM.
a valuable lesson learnt
- it's really important to know how to show appreciation to the people around us .
many things , if you keep pursuing , you'll only link from one subject to another - there's simply no end to it .
to confess : yes i think about it . and yes i'm frustrated when i can't find the answers to it .. but the only solution to it i have .. is to trust you . like what we've discussed .. if it happens , it happens . if it doesn't , it doesn't . it'd be simpler for me to just stick to what i said i'll offer - to be truthful and sincere .
but on top of that , you made me realize how powerful is the expression of appreciation . it makes you happy when i tell you how much i appreciate you and what i love about you . that is just like what anyone else would enjoy hearing - praises makes people happy ! BUT ! im sincerely praising you when i do , not just for the sake of saying . i guess in the past , i havn't been able to express my appreciation and didn't know how to appreciate .. thus causing so much lesser happiness . but dear , now i know le !! and i'll keep practicing that !! :D i love your goodnight and morning texts !! ♥
and it's when you're happy , i feel happy too ! because i succeeded in making you feel cherished and loved . hahas . it's very much like an achievement , a sense of fulfillment . and i realize that this , is what i've forgotten ever since i started going astray . FEAR NO MOREEEEE !! cuz i'm now back on track , and im slowly picking things up again ! come back , good habits , come back ~ hahas . i wanna be someone better , someone more lovable ! :D
hence , i've decided to take a step back so that we can both breathe , and together move forward ~~~~~~ :D i love youuuuuu !! xD
heehees ! this is a lil something for you ~ :)
you may scratch your head and ask me why
cuz i love you and that is why
i'd give my hope and give my life
to love you with all that i am
i love you like i always do .
- it's really important to know how to show appreciation to the people around us .
many things , if you keep pursuing , you'll only link from one subject to another - there's simply no end to it .
to confess : yes i think about it . and yes i'm frustrated when i can't find the answers to it .. but the only solution to it i have .. is to trust you . like what we've discussed .. if it happens , it happens . if it doesn't , it doesn't . it'd be simpler for me to just stick to what i said i'll offer - to be truthful and sincere .
but on top of that , you made me realize how powerful is the expression of appreciation . it makes you happy when i tell you how much i appreciate you and what i love about you . that is just like what anyone else would enjoy hearing - praises makes people happy ! BUT ! im sincerely praising you when i do , not just for the sake of saying . i guess in the past , i havn't been able to express my appreciation and didn't know how to appreciate .. thus causing so much lesser happiness . but dear , now i know le !! and i'll keep practicing that !! :D i love your goodnight and morning texts !! ♥
and it's when you're happy , i feel happy too ! because i succeeded in making you feel cherished and loved . hahas . it's very much like an achievement , a sense of fulfillment . and i realize that this , is what i've forgotten ever since i started going astray . FEAR NO MOREEEEE !! cuz i'm now back on track , and im slowly picking things up again ! come back , good habits , come back ~ hahas . i wanna be someone better , someone more lovable ! :D
hence , i've decided to take a step back so that we can both breathe , and together move forward ~~~~~~ :D i love youuuuuu !! xD
heehees ! this is a lil something for you ~ :)
you may scratch your head and ask me why
cuz i love you and that is why
i'd give my hope and give my life
to love you with all that i am
i love you like i always do .
i love you like i always do.12:59 AM.
Tuesday, January 11
love makes you wanna be a better person .
it's our 2 month ! finally , after sucha rough time , we're through to a better chapter ! :)
dear darling , thanks for the hugs today . i really needed it . and the fetching at the bridge , it was like as if we hadn't done that for a very long time ! hahas . for the past weeks , it's been so tough to hold on , and our vows just leave us again and again just by the thoughts we give ourselves . i'm sorry that i havn't been controlling my temper and emotions , havn't been more expressive about appreciation . i'll brush up on that k ? i promise . :)
candy , it's really nice to have you again , after that 3 days of seperation . i still remember how full of ridicule and tears , frustrations and everything not pretty . our relationship was on the edge of the cliff when , you took the lead , gave me a chance , gave us a chance . im really thankful to have met you dear ..
and as i've promised , i'll control my temper , and be more of yours . i really wish we would be able to last , and that our vows could be fulfilled . i love you .
bad times over and you will still holding on to the same familiar hand .
it's our 2 month ! finally , after sucha rough time , we're through to a better chapter ! :)
dear darling , thanks for the hugs today . i really needed it . and the fetching at the bridge , it was like as if we hadn't done that for a very long time ! hahas . for the past weeks , it's been so tough to hold on , and our vows just leave us again and again just by the thoughts we give ourselves . i'm sorry that i havn't been controlling my temper and emotions , havn't been more expressive about appreciation . i'll brush up on that k ? i promise . :)
candy , it's really nice to have you again , after that 3 days of seperation . i still remember how full of ridicule and tears , frustrations and everything not pretty . our relationship was on the edge of the cliff when , you took the lead , gave me a chance , gave us a chance . im really thankful to have met you dear ..
and as i've promised , i'll control my temper , and be more of yours . i really wish we would be able to last , and that our vows could be fulfilled . i love you .
bad times over and you will still holding on to the same familiar hand .
i love you like i always do.12:01 AM.
Monday, January 10
birthday with a "u" !
i received afew more than a hundred birthday wishes on facebook.com last friday . all from people i know . still , some wished me through text and minutes after . it was a really fruitful day i'd say .
i had lunch with isabel , daniel and donald at pastamania ! we ordered pastas with a set of combo each , and daniel footed the bill .. thanks for the treat bro !! :D hahas .. seeing daniel and isabel so loving , oh ya ! it was the first time i witness them holding hands , out as a couple !! heehees . when are you guys getting married ?! XD
after that , i met up with candy to go party world ! hahas . i miss that poshy place . but then again , even with the renovation , they still kept some very tattered and torn seats .. haish .. i wonder what are they thinking .. hahas .. sarah and gerald came later , and we had a cake !! we sliced 8 to share with his family and carol , but i left it at carol's and forgot to bring it home . sweet candy was kind enough to not pick on me for that .. thanks lovely !
it was a surprise catch up by sarah around carol's . nonetheless , we had a great girls' talk ! talking about boobies and meanies and lovelies .. it's sooo sweet and heartwarming i wanna do it more !! xD next time , we should really watch vids and snack together , right ? probably have a sleepover too ! hahas !
i gave up the thought of looking friends up for saturday cuz many of them aren't able to confirm with me . so candy and i visited the it convention at suntec city , looking deep into the cams and headsets . i was kinda bored out because technically speaking , i'm not quite a electronics person . and with the crowd brushing against my bag , which has already been causing shoulder aches and strain marks , just evolves my emptiness into frustration . sorry about that .. =\
saturday night was spent at my house , reaching home in the middle of 10 and 11 . we ate reheated left over food , and some potato from the coffee shop nearby . hahas . fries that is ~ we tv-ed together and stayed up till about 2 am , then at about 3 , i knocked out . woke up around 1030 the next day only to hope that candy would wake up soon , but we still missed mac breakfast . hahas . oh well ~ we went over to causeway point to catch love and other drugs ! whoo ! like finally uh ! look at this poster .. tell me what you seeeeeeeee ..
obviously the date is wrong (if you know the release date in singapore) . a very touching sunday evening i had . candy was sooooo tired but still , he watched this with me . and i still remember , he told me this was a 3-star rating movie , and only after the trailer was he slightly more interested and motivated to watch it , right ? hahas . no offence though . im elated that you watched it with me , and that we could have a lovely evening . thanks dear !
i received afew more than a hundred birthday wishes on facebook.com last friday . all from people i know . still , some wished me through text and minutes after . it was a really fruitful day i'd say .
i had lunch with isabel , daniel and donald at pastamania ! we ordered pastas with a set of combo each , and daniel footed the bill .. thanks for the treat bro !! :D hahas .. seeing daniel and isabel so loving , oh ya ! it was the first time i witness them holding hands , out as a couple !! heehees . when are you guys getting married ?! XD
after that , i met up with candy to go party world ! hahas . i miss that poshy place . but then again , even with the renovation , they still kept some very tattered and torn seats .. haish .. i wonder what are they thinking .. hahas .. sarah and gerald came later , and we had a cake !! we sliced 8 to share with his family and carol , but i left it at carol's and forgot to bring it home . sweet candy was kind enough to not pick on me for that .. thanks lovely !
it was a surprise catch up by sarah around carol's . nonetheless , we had a great girls' talk ! talking about boobies and meanies and lovelies .. it's sooo sweet and heartwarming i wanna do it more !! xD next time , we should really watch vids and snack together , right ? probably have a sleepover too ! hahas !
i gave up the thought of looking friends up for saturday cuz many of them aren't able to confirm with me . so candy and i visited the it convention at suntec city , looking deep into the cams and headsets . i was kinda bored out because technically speaking , i'm not quite a electronics person . and with the crowd brushing against my bag , which has already been causing shoulder aches and strain marks , just evolves my emptiness into frustration . sorry about that .. =\
saturday night was spent at my house , reaching home in the middle of 10 and 11 . we ate reheated left over food , and some potato from the coffee shop nearby . hahas . fries that is ~ we tv-ed together and stayed up till about 2 am , then at about 3 , i knocked out . woke up around 1030 the next day only to hope that candy would wake up soon , but we still missed mac breakfast . hahas . oh well ~ we went over to causeway point to catch love and other drugs ! whoo ! like finally uh ! look at this poster .. tell me what you seeeeeeeee ..
obviously the date is wrong (if you know the release date in singapore) . a very touching sunday evening i had . candy was sooooo tired but still , he watched this with me . and i still remember , he told me this was a 3-star rating movie , and only after the trailer was he slightly more interested and motivated to watch it , right ? hahas . no offence though . im elated that you watched it with me , and that we could have a lovely evening . thanks dear !
i love you like i always do.11:42 PM.
Thursday, January 6
Pressies xx
my big day's coming ! but there's no enthusiasm stirring in me yet . probably cuz of all habitual changes .. and lotsa minor rushy decisions i have to make . still , time doesn't stop .
fyp advisor said he's gonna give us certs for the programs we've gone through , and as for me and my partner , we won the quiz so ........ WE'RE GETTING A PRESENT !! >.< he said he bought mp3 for the last batch , panasonic brand , about a hundred each . so i bet it's a good one ! well , i've been yearning for an audio gadget , but then again , it's his decision .. he say must see his budget thn he decide .. hahas .. wadeva ~ it's just a coincidence that the thing he bought and the thing i want was similar .. but im aiming for an ITouch now ! hahahahs .. so i won't be bothered what he buys . i'm okay with anything . :)
ex-classmate , chia sien , helped me install matlab program for data acquisition and sensor module today ! thanks my friend ! really save me from all the trouble and stress of reading instructions and following step by step , not to mention all the alt.+tabs i've gotta be punching . gahhhh !
project was a really bad delay today . we waited from 9+ to 10+ , 10+ to 12+ , 12+ to 2+ to 3+ , and everything dragged on to 4+ .. then in between came a hurricane from admiralty , blowing my mind off everything and i left just like that , to settle what bothers me most .
i've once asked one of my year 1 facilitator , "how do you know if you love someone ?" and his reply was "well , different people have different definitions about love . for me and my wife , i think about her all the time , everything i do , she's within my considerations and .. i wanna spend the rest of my life with her ." it was about 2 years back and i remember very clearly , back then , the latter part convinced me of the logic in his definition , alot .
i went over today . it was a lil harsh , weird , sweet with a mixture of jealousy . the communications were rather weird , but there were lil patchiesss . i really don't know what to think , cuz all i know is my thoughts and feelings are fighting against each other . there were times i really felt so devasted i couldn't bother , but yet , i don't wanna just lose the moment like this forever . i hope my apology was useful .. i meant it . still , there were rather off times like the pledge i took .. lols .
my year's not gonna be very great . so i guess it's about time i take things slowly and steadily .
oh ya ! my team mate looked into my planner today and she was like .. "wah ! u write so many things ar !" amusing to me , but still , it could have been better . expectations , expectations .. i could never let my expectations run down .. not for myself at least .
hmms . here's something you can chew on if you're trying to raise the bars .
* what do you wanna be when you grow up ?
* what kinda environment would you wanna live in ?
* how much do you have to earn to achieve all that ?
* what are the steps you have to take to get there ?
hehes . some very common questions rp make us ask ourselves everyday in the 1st year . still , i hate engineering ! :( wadeva ~
cherrie cherrie boom boom ~
my big day's coming ! but there's no enthusiasm stirring in me yet . probably cuz of all habitual changes .. and lotsa minor rushy decisions i have to make . still , time doesn't stop .
fyp advisor said he's gonna give us certs for the programs we've gone through , and as for me and my partner , we won the quiz so ........ WE'RE GETTING A PRESENT !! >.< he said he bought mp3 for the last batch , panasonic brand , about a hundred each . so i bet it's a good one ! well , i've been yearning for an audio gadget , but then again , it's his decision .. he say must see his budget thn he decide .. hahas .. wadeva ~ it's just a coincidence that the thing he bought and the thing i want was similar .. but im aiming for an ITouch now ! hahahahs .. so i won't be bothered what he buys . i'm okay with anything . :)
ex-classmate , chia sien , helped me install matlab program for data acquisition and sensor module today ! thanks my friend ! really save me from all the trouble and stress of reading instructions and following step by step , not to mention all the alt.+tabs i've gotta be punching . gahhhh !
project was a really bad delay today . we waited from 9+ to 10+ , 10+ to 12+ , 12+ to 2+ to 3+ , and everything dragged on to 4+ .. then in between came a hurricane from admiralty , blowing my mind off everything and i left just like that , to settle what bothers me most .
i've once asked one of my year 1 facilitator , "how do you know if you love someone ?" and his reply was "well , different people have different definitions about love . for me and my wife , i think about her all the time , everything i do , she's within my considerations and .. i wanna spend the rest of my life with her ." it was about 2 years back and i remember very clearly , back then , the latter part convinced me of the logic in his definition , alot .
i went over today . it was a lil harsh , weird , sweet with a mixture of jealousy . the communications were rather weird , but there were lil patchiesss . i really don't know what to think , cuz all i know is my thoughts and feelings are fighting against each other . there were times i really felt so devasted i couldn't bother , but yet , i don't wanna just lose the moment like this forever . i hope my apology was useful .. i meant it . still , there were rather off times like the pledge i took .. lols .
my year's not gonna be very great . so i guess it's about time i take things slowly and steadily .
oh ya ! my team mate looked into my planner today and she was like .. "wah ! u write so many things ar !" amusing to me , but still , it could have been better . expectations , expectations .. i could never let my expectations run down .. not for myself at least .
hmms . here's something you can chew on if you're trying to raise the bars .
* what do you wanna be when you grow up ?
* what kinda environment would you wanna live in ?
* how much do you have to earn to achieve all that ?
* what are the steps you have to take to get there ?
hehes . some very common questions rp make us ask ourselves everyday in the 1st year . still , i hate engineering ! :( wadeva ~
cherrie cherrie boom boom ~
i love you like i always do.12:06 AM.
Tuesday, January 4
the very familiar taste of liquid ..
it's been a really long time since i last cried like this . long enough for me to forget the feeling of losing someone i love .
school today was slightly better than yesterday . i was late like all the other usual times , but dazing with a tint of unusual depression . it hit me so hard , harder than i thought . that phrase just vacuumed my soul out my heart could only feel my body getting colder minute by minute , like as if it was dying already . it made me feel really uncomfortable being in big spaces . my body feel pins and needles all over , hinting that i should be hiding myself about .. now ?
i headed home upon dismissal , and gawd .. my hunch was right . i spend a good amount of time crying and brooding over everything . thank god i was at home and nowhere else - cuz even on the bus ytd , i was like a sick bug or something ..
lesson was good by the relief faci , Dr Lim Chai Soon . hahas . i still remember saying his name wrongly to Tan Chai Soon . oh gawd .. definitely his original name sounds nicer right ? lols . silly me ..
i still love you like i always do ..
it's been a really long time since i last cried like this . long enough for me to forget the feeling of losing someone i love .
school today was slightly better than yesterday . i was late like all the other usual times , but dazing with a tint of unusual depression . it hit me so hard , harder than i thought . that phrase just vacuumed my soul out my heart could only feel my body getting colder minute by minute , like as if it was dying already . it made me feel really uncomfortable being in big spaces . my body feel pins and needles all over , hinting that i should be hiding myself about .. now ?
i headed home upon dismissal , and gawd .. my hunch was right . i spend a good amount of time crying and brooding over everything . thank god i was at home and nowhere else - cuz even on the bus ytd , i was like a sick bug or something ..
lesson was good by the relief faci , Dr Lim Chai Soon . hahas . i still remember saying his name wrongly to Tan Chai Soon . oh gawd .. definitely his original name sounds nicer right ? lols . silly me ..
i still love you like i always do ..
i love you like i always do.11:37 PM.
Monday, January 3
love , will you come back ?
have you ever felt afraid about having a relationship ? the feeling whereby you won't even think of settling down , or if there's someone in your heart , you hesitate to be with them .. maybe you're too hurt and it's just like the saying that goes "once bitten twice shy" , you are afraid of trusting again , but then on the other hand , you yearn for love so much so that you struggle with yourself .. have you ?
well , i'm just feeling that way right now .. i love him , but i'm afraid of being with him . i think of him almost all the time , yet i keep it to myself as much as possible . i want it all back , even wishing that things would never go wrong between us again , but no deals' that great .
im struggling now , are you ? do you wanna be with me ? do you think of me all the time ? will you be able to hold my hand through all the storms ?
like what you said , time has let us see through each other . not trying to focus on the flaws , but more on the personality clashes . scary how we're so similar - the way we throw our tantrums , the way we could give , the way we wanna possess ; and how we'd repel off one another - the way we sense , the way we catch , the way we watch and enjoy the quiet moments . but then again , i couldn't help but wonder .. what's wrong about being so deadly repulsive if we love each other so much ? sad to say , i guess it's pretty much the torments we bring onto ourselves ..
i don't know how i should be feeling right now .. but i really miss you ..
i agree i have a bad temper .. and i'm gonna change that .
have you ever felt afraid about having a relationship ? the feeling whereby you won't even think of settling down , or if there's someone in your heart , you hesitate to be with them .. maybe you're too hurt and it's just like the saying that goes "once bitten twice shy" , you are afraid of trusting again , but then on the other hand , you yearn for love so much so that you struggle with yourself .. have you ?
well , i'm just feeling that way right now .. i love him , but i'm afraid of being with him . i think of him almost all the time , yet i keep it to myself as much as possible . i want it all back , even wishing that things would never go wrong between us again , but no deals' that great .
im struggling now , are you ? do you wanna be with me ? do you think of me all the time ? will you be able to hold my hand through all the storms ?
like what you said , time has let us see through each other . not trying to focus on the flaws , but more on the personality clashes . scary how we're so similar - the way we throw our tantrums , the way we could give , the way we wanna possess ; and how we'd repel off one another - the way we sense , the way we catch , the way we watch and enjoy the quiet moments . but then again , i couldn't help but wonder .. what's wrong about being so deadly repulsive if we love each other so much ? sad to say , i guess it's pretty much the torments we bring onto ourselves ..
i don't know how i should be feeling right now .. but i really miss you ..
i agree i have a bad temper .. and i'm gonna change that .
i love you like i always do.11:55 PM.
hi peeps .
current year didn't have a good start but i'm still gonna try to set things straight . today's the first day of school but i had only 3 hours of sleep . gawd .. can you imagine how desperate i am for a proper rest now ? but what i wish is probably impossible ..
i'm back to single now . it sucks because as i still wish us to be together but in your eyes (given your response) , i'm no better than a ferocious stubborn bitch . i have a really bad temper , i have actions when i'm talking , i tend to talk in a very firm tone , i grew up in a very different environment as compared to you - not to mention our habits .
he have selective hearing , he have a bad temper too . he's very egoistic and possessive , but i believe that's outta love , right ? he doesn't believe in "do onto others what you want others to do onto you" , and he bring up topics about my girlfriends very often - saying it's just a joke .
all these i'm stating is based what he told me , and what i observed . i did not mention about going back on your words , neither did i say anything about the reason we quarrel . still , all i have to say is that since you've given up on us , i wish you better luck .
i gave you the benefit of doubt .
--------------------------------------------------------------
i went over to look for carol darling yesterday ! hahas . she was so nice to comfort me .. and then we motivated each other about realizing our dreams .. her mummy even made my dinner ! >.< so heartwarming . i love home cooked food ttm ! :D
carol really did alot of research man ! dang ! i wish i had that much of a knowledge for interior design or culinary . YES . CULINARY . i may not be a good cook , but im a good and quick learner ! xD don't doubt me okay ~
hmms .. these days , really gotta motivate myself and distract my mind .. i can't believe he had such a bad impression of me , bringing up only suffocating characteristics about me . i wish my friends could remind me what's good about me .. i'm so bombarded ale-dyy ar .. x_____X
but seriously , i know my sky . i know myself . BOTH good AND bad . BOTHWAYS . buddies , just help me a little alright ? i need a tad bit of confidence here ........ =,(
thanks for all the friends who cared about me ..
i love you like i always do.10:43 AM.
Sunday, January 2
就当我是罪人 ，只要你开心就好
i love you like i always do.11:49 PM.
