Thursday, November 4
for the first time i realize i can't promise something..
i just finished reading peiyi's blog . read her fountain of love .. how everything's pouring out so honestly .
i realize how love can always shatter , or build someone up so motivationally .. still , the devil will always work it's way to our doom , the devil's working just as hard as we try to survive .
twenyo said he's gonna have a family outing , and i asked "where do you guys go when you have a family outing?" wasn't trying to be kpo but i was trying to feel what family feels like .. ever since i started understanding things , the only stuff i kept understanding was pain and heartbreaks . what love is , what family means , didn't even have a shadow in my dictionary . how then am i supposed to build a happy family ? would people eventually mind my past , what kind of family background i came from ? i guess they would .. somehow ..
celebrated lawrence's bdae with chiasien just now , at the lake near bukit panjang plaza . kinda heart warming i guess .. hahas .. blueberry vanilla cake with chocolate chip !! cute right ? bet you're drooling now ~ hehes .. i now i wonder what my bdae would be like .. hmms ..
someone found me and texted me ytd , his name's ian . unfortunately , i was asleep .. he seems understanding about all the things i went through , and really eager to make things work . but all i get rumbling in my head was how he went on and on , riding on my guilt .. i'm really sorry that you have to suffer the aftermath of all my mishaps .. i'm really sorry that you had to face the me when i keep shutting off from rs .. i'm really sorry .. i really am .. from you , i finally understood why i was feeling so guilty .. when i reject all those guys out there so nice to me , they're facing the consequence of my past whom they had already accepted and it was just me and my phobia .. i'm so sorry ......
love always finds a way to my heart , like a twin born with telepathy .
i just finished reading peiyi's blog . read her fountain of love .. how everything's pouring out so honestly .
i realize how love can always shatter , or build someone up so motivationally .. still , the devil will always work it's way to our doom , the devil's working just as hard as we try to survive .
twenyo said he's gonna have a family outing , and i asked "where do you guys go when you have a family outing?" wasn't trying to be kpo but i was trying to feel what family feels like .. ever since i started understanding things , the only stuff i kept understanding was pain and heartbreaks . what love is , what family means , didn't even have a shadow in my dictionary . how then am i supposed to build a happy family ? would people eventually mind my past , what kind of family background i came from ? i guess they would .. somehow ..
celebrated lawrence's bdae with chiasien just now , at the lake near bukit panjang plaza . kinda heart warming i guess .. hahas .. blueberry vanilla cake with chocolate chip !! cute right ? bet you're drooling now ~ hehes .. i now i wonder what my bdae would be like .. hmms ..
someone found me and texted me ytd , his name's ian . unfortunately , i was asleep .. he seems understanding about all the things i went through , and really eager to make things work . but all i get rumbling in my head was how he went on and on , riding on my guilt .. i'm really sorry that you have to suffer the aftermath of all my mishaps .. i'm really sorry that you had to face the me when i keep shutting off from rs .. i'm really sorry .. i really am .. from you , i finally understood why i was feeling so guilty .. when i reject all those guys out there so nice to me , they're facing the consequence of my past whom they had already accepted and it was just me and my phobia .. i'm so sorry ......
love always finds a way to my heart , like a twin born with telepathy .
i love you like i always do.12:18 AM.
