Monday, November 29
fulfilling the prophecy .
as time goes by , couples tend to have more and more conflict . this is a very simple logic which i have initially felt arrogant about because to me , from what i know , as long as we're able to stick together and talk the problem out , it's gonna solve the problem eventually . but i guess the saying's right ; things are easier said than done .
minor preferences and different way of doing things can easily be the cause of fire . a fire which could probably bring down the whole relationship if not well taken care of .
i don't know how i should continue writing this post ..
you said we'd talk .
as time goes by , couples tend to have more and more conflict . this is a very simple logic which i have initially felt arrogant about because to me , from what i know , as long as we're able to stick together and talk the problem out , it's gonna solve the problem eventually . but i guess the saying's right ; things are easier said than done .
minor preferences and different way of doing things can easily be the cause of fire . a fire which could probably bring down the whole relationship if not well taken care of .
i don't know how i should continue writing this post ..
you said we'd talk .
i love you like i always do.12:11 AM.
Saturday, November 27
the brought forward day .
for thursday 25 nov 2010 :
we were so excited that we brought forward the anniversary , we bought lotsa stuff (but outta $90+ , only $20 was my contribution) , and enjoyed ourselves much much ! XD
we met up at cwp to shop for our rings and diary , from bits and pieces to xcraft to the blues to 77th street and back to xcraft . and yes , we bought the black pair of rings with gold color engravings on the inside . heehees . thn we went to get our diaries at popular , followed by a bag and lotsa food ! thanks baby ! for the bag and all the love !! :D
been a really long time since i felt so happy and contented . these feelings are so brand new .. feelings i thought i'd never be able to feel again , it's you baby .. you brought it all back alive again . :)
for friday 26 nov 2010 :
there was a huge storm that morning .. sweeping me off my feet , and i was on the verge of leaving home . based on the very words she said to me , it was sufficient to erupt a volcano . that very morning , i was spammed with thoughts of getting a job - consulting isabel , zhiying and niic , and about my final decision - sarah , jeffreykoh and candy .
i was so stressed up i didn't know what to do or feel . anger mixed with a sense of abandonment , at that moment i couldn't even stand in my mother's shoe , and i only wanted to be me , just me , selfishly wanting things to work out my way . i was asked by my mentor and baby a question that caught my childish side red handed : "if your kid were to come home that late , what would you say to her ? how would you have better communicated with her ?"
and sometimes , inklings are the best ! while chatting with candy during my 3rd meeting (because i was so off-track i didn't even wanna stay in class) , i felt a suddent urge to call up mother to just tell her about what's rumbling in my mind and tah-dah ! she talked super nicely and that evening , i brought mr candy up for the meet up ! hahahas ! super happy that he so naturally ate the dinner mother prepared ! :D
burrrrrrp !! i told mother directly that i'd be staying over on fri and sat night at baby's house back then over the phone and she was like .. "ouh .. ok . " heehees ! STAYOVER FTW !!
this morning , 27 nov 2010 :
i had a mini nightmare . i woke up at about 0630 * saw candy daddy * , slept and woke up again at about 0740 * saw nothing * , slept and woke up again at about 0850 * heard baby snoring , tossed and turned and slept till about 1000 and in distress , i went to brush my teeth and started using the com .
at about 1030 , the sun kinda scorched my fbt shorts , heating up the very surface of my thigh . i shifted a little closer to my darling , and continued checking up fb , searching for more new songs and blogging up bit by bits . bff donald texted me some prank messages saying he wants to know me , and i was like .. wth ! thank god baby trusted me . :)
it doesn't matter if you snore when you sleep , it doesn't matter if you have pimples growing right above your lips , it doesn't matter if we are staying beside each others' unit .. as long as you're you , i'd love you always .
for thursday 25 nov 2010 :
we were so excited that we brought forward the anniversary , we bought lotsa stuff (but outta $90+ , only $20 was my contribution) , and enjoyed ourselves much much ! XD
we met up at cwp to shop for our rings and diary , from bits and pieces to xcraft to the blues to 77th street and back to xcraft . and yes , we bought the black pair of rings with gold color engravings on the inside . heehees . thn we went to get our diaries at popular , followed by a bag and lotsa food ! thanks baby ! for the bag and all the love !! :D
been a really long time since i felt so happy and contented . these feelings are so brand new .. feelings i thought i'd never be able to feel again , it's you baby .. you brought it all back alive again . :)
for friday 26 nov 2010 :
there was a huge storm that morning .. sweeping me off my feet , and i was on the verge of leaving home . based on the very words she said to me , it was sufficient to erupt a volcano . that very morning , i was spammed with thoughts of getting a job - consulting isabel , zhiying and niic , and about my final decision - sarah , jeffreykoh and candy .
i was so stressed up i didn't know what to do or feel . anger mixed with a sense of abandonment , at that moment i couldn't even stand in my mother's shoe , and i only wanted to be me , just me , selfishly wanting things to work out my way . i was asked by my mentor and baby a question that caught my childish side red handed : "if your kid were to come home that late , what would you say to her ? how would you have better communicated with her ?"
and sometimes , inklings are the best ! while chatting with candy during my 3rd meeting (because i was so off-track i didn't even wanna stay in class) , i felt a suddent urge to call up mother to just tell her about what's rumbling in my mind and tah-dah ! she talked super nicely and that evening , i brought mr candy up for the meet up ! hahahas ! super happy that he so naturally ate the dinner mother prepared ! :D
burrrrrrp !! i told mother directly that i'd be staying over on fri and sat night at baby's house back then over the phone and she was like .. "ouh .. ok . " heehees ! STAYOVER FTW !!
this morning , 27 nov 2010 :
i had a mini nightmare . i woke up at about 0630 * saw candy daddy * , slept and woke up again at about 0740 * saw nothing * , slept and woke up again at about 0850 * heard baby snoring , tossed and turned and slept till about 1000 and in distress , i went to brush my teeth and started using the com .
at about 1030 , the sun kinda scorched my fbt shorts , heating up the very surface of my thigh . i shifted a little closer to my darling , and continued checking up fb , searching for more new songs and blogging up bit by bits . bff donald texted me some prank messages saying he wants to know me , and i was like .. wth ! thank god baby trusted me . :)
it doesn't matter if you snore when you sleep , it doesn't matter if you have pimples growing right above your lips , it doesn't matter if we are staying beside each others' unit .. as long as you're you , i'd love you always .
i love you like i always do.1:20 PM.
Thursday, November 25
if you wan the rainbow , you must bear the rain .
well , after all the mess today , i met up with candy and we spent some quality time together as usual . the feelings' like because this place is more like home , rather than that place when i was writing the previous post . i don't know how else to think . besides , now that i'm not allowed to cook at home , i guess my diet's gonna get back on track thn .
temptation lurks around all corners . i can smell bonbons on people , i can see people with bonbons on fire , i can feel temptation drooling and waiting to devour me . and for the same old reason , i know you're doing this for us too .. and that made me feel more comforted - because then , i know it's safe for me to say that i'm not in this alone .
we had a simple dinner , chatted and slacked together till mrs p.i start . and for the first time , i tasted famous amos cookies ! hahas ! it's really not bad ! the big box about b5 size cost $6.50 .. well , it's all quality and quantity !
baby worked his ass off today and managed to earn some bucks ! good job dear ! hope you manage to save it up wor ! i'm glad to know that i have a partner who knows how to save up as well as earn . though the things we can do now are rather limited , it's comforting to hear from him that he'll work hard for our future . really hope we stick together .
well , after all the mess today , i met up with candy and we spent some quality time together as usual . the feelings' like because this place is more like home , rather than that place when i was writing the previous post . i don't know how else to think . besides , now that i'm not allowed to cook at home , i guess my diet's gonna get back on track thn .
temptation lurks around all corners . i can smell bonbons on people , i can see people with bonbons on fire , i can feel temptation drooling and waiting to devour me . and for the same old reason , i know you're doing this for us too .. and that made me feel more comforted - because then , i know it's safe for me to say that i'm not in this alone .
we had a simple dinner , chatted and slacked together till mrs p.i start . and for the first time , i tasted famous amos cookies ! hahas ! it's really not bad ! the big box about b5 size cost $6.50 .. well , it's all quality and quantity !
baby worked his ass off today and managed to earn some bucks ! good job dear ! hope you manage to save it up wor ! i'm glad to know that i have a partner who knows how to save up as well as earn . though the things we can do now are rather limited , it's comforting to hear from him that he'll work hard for our future . really hope we stick together .
bad times over and you will still holding on to the same familiar hand. i promise you. this my vow to you as long we'r still tgt .
i love you like i always do.12:34 AM.
Wednesday, November 24
super bad wednes-day !
i woke up 2 hours earlier , only to realize that the preparation of different ingredients and different dishes could take up to an hour . maybe i was hesitant and indecisive about what to cook , but then again , i'm just taking some serious thought to think through so that i'd still have the appetite to eat when the time comes , and not wasting the food i cook .
as soon as i'm done with bathing and preparing the food , mother came home . she simply start off the tiffy session by telling me off about cooking . this is what she says "you everytime kop my stuff to cook , thn dishes oso nvr wash .. end up i wan cook oso dun dare to cook , scared not enuf ingredients eh !" well , apparently i did the dishes once in awhile , and she should have known better to get more vegetables to store .. but because i was too sick and tired to quarrel with her , i merely ended everything by marking the end of my lunch-box . there . i won't be cooking at home anymore . happy ?
she went on and on saying "i can beat you , you cannot .. cuz i give you pocket money !" and i was like .. "our conversation never once lived without arguments does it ? and about the pocket money , IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY !" and she just simply used her possible high-blood pressure and stroke condition to threaten me , wanting me to shut up . well , if you know me well enough , i'm not someone to be trampled with , and about the conversation between me and my mum , i'm just too sick of the whole thing to bother explaining my statements . i'd only reply "wadeva la wadeva la ."
thn while i was waiting for the lift , she came to the door and said "i'm gonna get a lawyer to send a letter to your father , and get him to pay your school fees . so get me the documents about your bank loan ." and i merely repeated this twice , only to hope it'd knock some sense into her , "you've already remarried , why bother someone else ?"
at school , i simply wasted my whole day's time to just sit there and facebook through 5 hours from 11am to 4pm , thn started the state of decomposing with high blood pressure . apparently someone had kept us waiting from 4pm to 5:30pm just for a 30mins damn briefing which he had obliged us to assist for his even-or-assignment next wednesday . this was how our schedule was like initially .
take 1 :
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 3:30pm
- briefing for the event at 1pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
take 2:
i woke up 2 hours earlier , only to realize that the preparation of different ingredients and different dishes could take up to an hour . maybe i was hesitant and indecisive about what to cook , but then again , i'm just taking some serious thought to think through so that i'd still have the appetite to eat when the time comes , and not wasting the food i cook .
as soon as i'm done with bathing and preparing the food , mother came home . she simply start off the tiffy session by telling me off about cooking . this is what she says "you everytime kop my stuff to cook , thn dishes oso nvr wash .. end up i wan cook oso dun dare to cook , scared not enuf ingredients eh !" well , apparently i did the dishes once in awhile , and she should have known better to get more vegetables to store .. but because i was too sick and tired to quarrel with her , i merely ended everything by marking the end of my lunch-box . there . i won't be cooking at home anymore . happy ?
she went on and on saying "i can beat you , you cannot .. cuz i give you pocket money !" and i was like .. "our conversation never once lived without arguments does it ? and about the pocket money , IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY !" and she just simply used her possible high-blood pressure and stroke condition to threaten me , wanting me to shut up . well , if you know me well enough , i'm not someone to be trampled with , and about the conversation between me and my mum , i'm just too sick of the whole thing to bother explaining my statements . i'd only reply "wadeva la wadeva la ."
thn while i was waiting for the lift , she came to the door and said "i'm gonna get a lawyer to send a letter to your father , and get him to pay your school fees . so get me the documents about your bank loan ." and i merely repeated this twice , only to hope it'd knock some sense into her , "you've already remarried , why bother someone else ?"
at school , i simply wasted my whole day's time to just sit there and facebook through 5 hours from 11am to 4pm , thn started the state of decomposing with high blood pressure . apparently someone had kept us waiting from 4pm to 5:30pm just for a 30mins damn briefing which he had obliged us to assist for his even-or-assignment next wednesday . this was how our schedule was like initially .
take 1 :
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 3:30pm
- briefing for the event at 1pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
take 2:
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 3:30pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
- briefing for the event at 4pm
take 3:
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 2pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
- briefing for the event at 4:30pm
take 4:
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 2pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
- briefing for the event at 5pm
take 5:
- fyp meeting from 10am to 4pm
- data acquisition and sensor workshop from 12:30pm to 2pm
- ASTAR supervisor visit at 2pm
- briefing for the event at 5:30pm
seriously speaking , have you ever seen someone so draggy before ? from 1pm dragged till 4pm , till 4:30pm , thn till 5pm and 5:30pm eh !! honestly , i've never seen any facilitators in our school being like this before . none .
i admit , i don't like staying back further thn agreed . whatever the reasons may be , i just don't like . and today , you really made me draw a line on that cuz now , i really hate it when people change the timings for so many times , without any explanations , thinking people are obligated to follow your saying , without a breadth of apology .
the end .
i love you like i always do.7:33 PM.
like how the star's always around the moon .
you bought dinner back for us today . i've never had anyone so willing to go out to get food for me before , especially when you're so tired and restless .. dear you really made me feel loved and cared for .
candy daddy asked about my alarm today ! hahas .. too bad i'm my own alarm .. except for today , which baby specially called me at my wake up time , other days i just have to climb outta the dream and wake myself up . but then again , it's the short conversation that i enjoyed . candy mummy told me to drink the soup that she packed back from candy granny's house , and she was like .. really speaking with her heart . and it dwelt on me that this family is special because they are able to speak their hearts and make people feel it . xiao candy asked if candy's going for her birthday bbq and TAH-DAHHH!! i was invited ! XD and she even asked to help see if her dressing was ok ~ heehees ! i'm so happy ! :)
i did 15mins of that 5cm thick hoola-hoop today . it was .. shiok ar ~ though i hardly feel any fats pushed around by the hoola-hoop anymore , i still feel the aching . i wonder if i'll be feeling the bruise tml . =\
hot tea helps digestion ! and yes , i had a cup just before i did my hoola-hooping . kinda like a bad decision cuz i kinda had some internal aching then . oh well ~ let's just hope i clear all the redundant air in my tummy tml so i won't look so stuck and bloated .
fyp meeting tml at 10am . we're having an event next wed (which we would have to dress formally for) , and tml , besides the fyp project we have to complete , we've gotta learn up the event details so .. yea . gonna be really shagged out tml .
spin spinn . it was like as if my brain had a mental shut down whenever time comes about 1pm , and my head was like .. spinning whenever the clock strucks 3pm . this started ever since i stopped bon-ing . rather dramatic i know , but it's real . candy had flu syndromes ever since thn .
i wanna kelly but the tiffanny was so seducive ~
you bought dinner back for us today . i've never had anyone so willing to go out to get food for me before , especially when you're so tired and restless .. dear you really made me feel loved and cared for .
candy daddy asked about my alarm today ! hahas .. too bad i'm my own alarm .. except for today , which baby specially called me at my wake up time , other days i just have to climb outta the dream and wake myself up . but then again , it's the short conversation that i enjoyed . candy mummy told me to drink the soup that she packed back from candy granny's house , and she was like .. really speaking with her heart . and it dwelt on me that this family is special because they are able to speak their hearts and make people feel it . xiao candy asked if candy's going for her birthday bbq and TAH-DAHHH!! i was invited ! XD and she even asked to help see if her dressing was ok ~ heehees ! i'm so happy ! :)
i did 15mins of that 5cm thick hoola-hoop today . it was .. shiok ar ~ though i hardly feel any fats pushed around by the hoola-hoop anymore , i still feel the aching . i wonder if i'll be feeling the bruise tml . =\
hot tea helps digestion ! and yes , i had a cup just before i did my hoola-hooping . kinda like a bad decision cuz i kinda had some internal aching then . oh well ~ let's just hope i clear all the redundant air in my tummy tml so i won't look so stuck and bloated .
fyp meeting tml at 10am . we're having an event next wed (which we would have to dress formally for) , and tml , besides the fyp project we have to complete , we've gotta learn up the event details so .. yea . gonna be really shagged out tml .
spin spinn . it was like as if my brain had a mental shut down whenever time comes about 1pm , and my head was like .. spinning whenever the clock strucks 3pm . this started ever since i stopped bon-ing . rather dramatic i know , but it's real . candy had flu syndromes ever since thn .
i wanna kelly but the tiffanny was so seducive ~
i love you like i always do.12:56 AM.
Tuesday, November 23
becoming more and more forgetful ..
i forgot that i'm not allowed to be emo . because those insecurities evoked outta inferiority .. are not necessary , and that someone close to my heart cares too much for me to be so selfish enough to just drown myself in inferiority . i'm sorry ..
i forgot that my heart's not alone anymore .. that it has another heart attached to it , and whatever either of it feels , the other heart feels it too .
i forget things when i don't jot down or do it immediately , i need a reminder , or jot it down more promptly .
i forgot the sense of emergency that i'm supposed to have , and i end up waking up late rather often recently .
i forgot what my parents are there for .. cuz we interact so minimally and so briefly .
baby and i went to sing k with his 4 buddies last sunday evening - chong lin , yu jin , andy and i-forgot-who . lols .. sorry bout forgetting ! well , an hour for $9 .. Zzz .. ex lahs . baby and i bought some finger food to chew . and we bus-ed home to slack a little before going home . oh yea ! we went shopping that day too ! at cwp , looking for rings and other items like perfume and bangles . enjoyed the day very much . :)
monday blues : monday , monday .. it's kinda like the start of the engine whereby you have to put in alot of energy just to get everything started . it sucks . and i guess .. i've figured and tried .. that if i dress up nicely for my mood , no matter how bad that day is , there's still a look i am satisfied with , something about myself i enjoy having .. right ?
mother helped me search the ingredients from her fridge , and then leaving it there for me . i took other ingredients too , and spent about an hour preparing two different sets of lunch this morning . i'm surprised baby morning-called me today , but dang ! i wake up liaos ~ hahas .. better luck next time dear ~ :p anyways , it's really heng that i can pass it to you on time . rwarr !
i wonder what other surprises i can give you .. guess the upcoming ones would take some effort off me liaos .. cuz all that i keep up my sleeves are more or less used up liaos .
hmms .. i wonder when we can go walk walk at ikea , get a rice cooker , couple ring and some surprise pressies for you ! >.< baby save up slowly k ? if not jiu cnt get surprises for you le .. hope you don't mind .. :X
tu me manques
i forgot that i'm not allowed to be emo . because those insecurities evoked outta inferiority .. are not necessary , and that someone close to my heart cares too much for me to be so selfish enough to just drown myself in inferiority . i'm sorry ..
i forgot that my heart's not alone anymore .. that it has another heart attached to it , and whatever either of it feels , the other heart feels it too .
i forget things when i don't jot down or do it immediately , i need a reminder , or jot it down more promptly .
i forgot the sense of emergency that i'm supposed to have , and i end up waking up late rather often recently .
i forgot what my parents are there for .. cuz we interact so minimally and so briefly .
baby and i went to sing k with his 4 buddies last sunday evening - chong lin , yu jin , andy and i-forgot-who . lols .. sorry bout forgetting ! well , an hour for $9 .. Zzz .. ex lahs . baby and i bought some finger food to chew . and we bus-ed home to slack a little before going home . oh yea ! we went shopping that day too ! at cwp , looking for rings and other items like perfume and bangles . enjoyed the day very much . :)
monday blues : monday , monday .. it's kinda like the start of the engine whereby you have to put in alot of energy just to get everything started . it sucks . and i guess .. i've figured and tried .. that if i dress up nicely for my mood , no matter how bad that day is , there's still a look i am satisfied with , something about myself i enjoy having .. right ?
mother helped me search the ingredients from her fridge , and then leaving it there for me . i took other ingredients too , and spent about an hour preparing two different sets of lunch this morning . i'm surprised baby morning-called me today , but dang ! i wake up liaos ~ hahas .. better luck next time dear ~ :p anyways , it's really heng that i can pass it to you on time . rwarr !
i wonder what other surprises i can give you .. guess the upcoming ones would take some effort off me liaos .. cuz all that i keep up my sleeves are more or less used up liaos .
hmms .. i wonder when we can go walk walk at ikea , get a rice cooker , couple ring and some surprise pressies for you ! >.< baby save up slowly k ? if not jiu cnt get surprises for you le .. hope you don't mind .. :X
tu me manques
i love you like i always do.10:28 AM.
Monday, November 22
day 1 without bonbons , with mr candy and ms red .
first , these are the overdue photos from the ceremony . the only comment i have about it was that for the sake of that 2 pathetic CE points they offer , students have to write 2*300words reflectional journal . trust me , it's unbearable .
next up , little chloe's 1yr old bdae !! sorry i wasn't there at the party but candy and i got spend a little time with you eh ! hope you feel happy . hahas . but as shag as we could ever be , she was clueless ?
i made dumplings for baby and his parents to try ! added too much soy sauce , but it wasn't that bad . heehees . candy , what do you think ? so .. this is our very simplistic dinner . :X
i realize candy and i have alot in common . salted popcorn , some standard of expectation for ourselves , simple yet quality time , urge to wanna achieve much more much better and many more ! just that like what you said , we're of different gender .. and what the pictures of us shows - different choice of hands . hmms .. we went shopping at cwp today , to xcraft , the pushcraft shop at lvl 2 , hahas .. candy was super excited about getting a set of couple ring ! heehees . seeing him so excited , my heart feels more at ease and much more excited ! XD
baby i hope i'm not putting too much pressure on your shoulders . remember i asked how did the money we spend over the weekends come about ? i was kinda wondering .. where did the money come from ? your daddy treats us dinner , and when we go out leh ? could it be your savings ? i'm spending your savings ? and only one word struck me "GUILT" . =$
gawd .. i kena summon today , about my language .. candy said my language's offensive and sarcastic .
offensive . kinda like the use of words .. nvm .. i'll do something about that .. =$
alrights , i shall end here for tonight . goshh .. i wish i was staying over at baby's house tonight again .. =(
will you spend your lifetime with me ?
first , these are the overdue photos from the ceremony . the only comment i have about it was that for the sake of that 2 pathetic CE points they offer , students have to write 2*300words reflectional journal . trust me , it's unbearable .
i realize candy and i have alot in common . salted popcorn , some standard of expectation for ourselves , simple yet quality time , urge to wanna achieve much more much better and many more ! just that like what you said , we're of different gender .. and what the pictures of us shows - different choice of hands . hmms .. we went shopping at cwp today , to xcraft , the pushcraft shop at lvl 2 , hahas .. candy was super excited about getting a set of couple ring ! heehees . seeing him so excited , my heart feels more at ease and much more excited ! XD
baby i hope i'm not putting too much pressure on your shoulders . remember i asked how did the money we spend over the weekends come about ? i was kinda wondering .. where did the money come from ? your daddy treats us dinner , and when we go out leh ? could it be your savings ? i'm spending your savings ? and only one word struck me "GUILT" . =$
gawd .. i kena summon today , about my language .. candy said my language's offensive and sarcastic .
offensive . kinda like the use of words .. nvm .. i'll do something about that .. =$
alrights , i shall end here for tonight . goshh .. i wish i was staying over at baby's house tonight again .. =(
will you spend your lifetime with me ?
i love you like i always do.1:20 AM.
Saturday, November 20
leaving bonbons for a healthy forever .
candy and i have decided to leave bonbons since day 1 . but yesterday , popped and said .. "baby , after i finish these 11 , i dowan to buy le .." and guess what he replied ?
a) "ok .. i'll quit by our 1st mth like you said initially ."
b) "orh .."
c) "alright . must keep your promise ar !"
a ? b ? c ? none of it lahs ! he said "ok dear , let's do it together ." and those , are just the words my subconscious was waiting to hear . he's just the reason i'm taking the chance to trust and love again , the sole reason i'm willingly giving up all these addictions . there's no regrets in giving up all these , just pure happiness .
can we call her candy ? we dwelt a little in our small talk about our future with brief plans of the timeline with placements of career , marriage and kids . initially , he wanted to work for a year aftr ns and save up for our marriage while working , and i'm intending to work aftr i graduate , and at the same time , move in with him . but last night , he asked what i think about getting married directly aftr his ns and about engagement ring being optional or not . well , to me , dear .. engagement ring is optional , and marriage , as long as we stick together , there's nothing much to fear . i want 2 or 3 kids , what about you ? "2" he said . a boy and a gal , i guess . he said "let's name ah boy raymond and ah gal frosty." and i said .. "baby , why not call ah gal candy? sounds so sweet luh!" and he rolled all over , laughing . thn after about few minutes , he said "dear , you see ar .. u call ah gal candy , still ok . ah gal's bf call her candy , still ok . but many many guys all call her candy .. hahahas .. you know what i mean?" and we both just rofl . lols !
meeting up everyday . i don't feel sick of you dear cuz you're just the kinda guy i wanna marry . besides , why should i get sick of someone i love ? if we're getting married , we'll have to be prepared that we'll be living together , seeing each other , being together . so even if we start it right now , while both still have the luxury of time to try it out , why not ? besides , i simply enjoy your environment , i don't find it boring nor sickening .. i find it peaceful and heartwarming . so candy , trust that i love you so , ok ?
because you're the only star i see .
candy and i have decided to leave bonbons since day 1 . but yesterday , popped and said .. "baby , after i finish these 11 , i dowan to buy le .." and guess what he replied ?
a) "ok .. i'll quit by our 1st mth like you said initially ."
b) "orh .."
c) "alright . must keep your promise ar !"
a ? b ? c ? none of it lahs ! he said "ok dear , let's do it together ." and those , are just the words my subconscious was waiting to hear . he's just the reason i'm taking the chance to trust and love again , the sole reason i'm willingly giving up all these addictions . there's no regrets in giving up all these , just pure happiness .
can we call her candy ? we dwelt a little in our small talk about our future with brief plans of the timeline with placements of career , marriage and kids . initially , he wanted to work for a year aftr ns and save up for our marriage while working , and i'm intending to work aftr i graduate , and at the same time , move in with him . but last night , he asked what i think about getting married directly aftr his ns and about engagement ring being optional or not . well , to me , dear .. engagement ring is optional , and marriage , as long as we stick together , there's nothing much to fear . i want 2 or 3 kids , what about you ? "2" he said . a boy and a gal , i guess . he said "let's name ah boy raymond and ah gal frosty." and i said .. "baby , why not call ah gal candy? sounds so sweet luh!" and he rolled all over , laughing . thn after about few minutes , he said "dear , you see ar .. u call ah gal candy , still ok . ah gal's bf call her candy , still ok . but many many guys all call her candy .. hahahas .. you know what i mean?" and we both just rofl . lols !
meeting up everyday . i don't feel sick of you dear cuz you're just the kinda guy i wanna marry . besides , why should i get sick of someone i love ? if we're getting married , we'll have to be prepared that we'll be living together , seeing each other , being together . so even if we start it right now , while both still have the luxury of time to try it out , why not ? besides , i simply enjoy your environment , i don't find it boring nor sickening .. i find it peaceful and heartwarming . so candy , trust that i love you so , ok ?
because you're the only star i see .
i love you like i always do.1:50 AM.
Wednesday, November 17
ms.red aftr mr. candy
ms. red came to find me this evening right after our dinner with mr. candy. gosh.. really made me gan jiong sia.. well, i guess i forgot when ms. red last came for a visit. wadeva ~
the night spent with mr. candy was really nice. we drank and sang, and i even saw how tipsy candy was. hahas.. silly candy, i miss you even when you're right beside me. how i wish morning would never come, or even, the evening after that wouldn't. cause just by the thought of having to bid goodbye bleeds me.
it was a comfortable day having you beside me and dressing so casually as we go out, as we chat and you patiently listened to how i would go on and on about my childhood. you'd tell me that you love me, almost every hour, but it always sounds like as if it's the last time you'd tell me, always feels like it's the last moments we'd be spending together. don't know what causes me to feel like it's the last instead of the first.. maybe because i fear that you'd never tell me you love me again.. hahas.. silly me..
i'm currently addicted to this song called ju gao zheng by lala. it was the first song candy shared with me, and though it wasn't a love at first, but as our first week pass, it because my favourite. it reminds me of how i slowly felt better after i know you, how i was saved from constant drowning of my own mental barrier, how each and every text and call of yours just makes me feel that love's a miracle, that fate's merciful and life being kind - all the good stuff can grow no matter how big the storm may be.
ps. he said he likes my smile wor ! >.<
in you, i see all the good stuff growing, blooming..
i love you like i always do.8:20 PM.
Tuesday, November 16
you make me wanna ♥
candy mummy said we're just friends . baby it's alright because though it hurts a little but it's no pain to me because i know you're serious about me , i know you're making efforts to prove to me .. and it's really sweet of you to remind me that everyday . i believe she'll witness our love as time goes by . :)
candy boiled up today . candy ar candy .. i miss your smile so much back then ! i wasn't angry at all , just a lil moody and sad cuz for a moment , i felt like we're so distant even when we're sitting side by side in the canteen , i felt lost and buried by your anger .. i didn't know what to say , and i don't wanna say the wrong things but dear , please don't ask if i wanna leave cuz i just wanna see you so much i'd be worried to tears if i had to leave just like that .. i wanna be there for you , listen to you telling me how you feel , feel how you feel .. no matter how long you'd take to say it all . i just wanna be there for you as much as you wanna be there for me alright ?
ps , baby said he has more tolerance for me than for others .. heehees .. ain't i lucky ?
baby helped me do facial mask today ! it's my first time doing a mask lor ! >.< it's neutrogena's whitening and firming mask from guardian de .. super love it ! it's cooling , refreshing and has a really nice scent ! hahas .. baby always knows the very nice scented things .. thank you baby ! tml i help you do k ? :D
yet , it's another happy day ! in conclusion , baby smiled ! i'm so happy that he's happy ! hahas .. sounds silly i know but i really do . so looking forward to everyday cuz of you dear - especially tomorrow ! >.< gonna spend more time together and more and more !! XD baby gave me his new headset ~ hahas .. i wonder why .. but i love it ! thanks dear ! i'll cherish it alot alot de ! :D
i hope the post sticks cheer you up when you're not feeling well , i hope they remind you of me , i hope they make your heart feel warm .. and baby you're really a blessing to me . you make me believe that love can thrive over materials , you make me wanna give up the wrong addictions i've had . and yet most important of all , you make me wanna trust and love all over again .
baby you're the miracle that i've been waiting for . :)
candy mummy said we're just friends . baby it's alright because though it hurts a little but it's no pain to me because i know you're serious about me , i know you're making efforts to prove to me .. and it's really sweet of you to remind me that everyday . i believe she'll witness our love as time goes by . :)
candy boiled up today . candy ar candy .. i miss your smile so much back then ! i wasn't angry at all , just a lil moody and sad cuz for a moment , i felt like we're so distant even when we're sitting side by side in the canteen , i felt lost and buried by your anger .. i didn't know what to say , and i don't wanna say the wrong things but dear , please don't ask if i wanna leave cuz i just wanna see you so much i'd be worried to tears if i had to leave just like that .. i wanna be there for you , listen to you telling me how you feel , feel how you feel .. no matter how long you'd take to say it all . i just wanna be there for you as much as you wanna be there for me alright ?
ps , baby said he has more tolerance for me than for others .. heehees .. ain't i lucky ?
baby helped me do facial mask today ! it's my first time doing a mask lor ! >.< it's neutrogena's whitening and firming mask from guardian de .. super love it ! it's cooling , refreshing and has a really nice scent ! hahas .. baby always knows the very nice scented things .. thank you baby ! tml i help you do k ? :D
yet , it's another happy day ! in conclusion , baby smiled ! i'm so happy that he's happy ! hahas .. sounds silly i know but i really do . so looking forward to everyday cuz of you dear - especially tomorrow ! >.< gonna spend more time together and more and more !! XD baby gave me his new headset ~ hahas .. i wonder why .. but i love it ! thanks dear ! i'll cherish it alot alot de ! :D
i hope the post sticks cheer you up when you're not feeling well , i hope they remind you of me , i hope they make your heart feel warm .. and baby you're really a blessing to me . you make me believe that love can thrive over materials , you make me wanna give up the wrong addictions i've had . and yet most important of all , you make me wanna trust and love all over again .
baby you're the miracle that i've been waiting for . :)
i love you like i always do.1:02 AM.
Monday, November 15
when i'm with you .
the past is the past . none of it matters as long as you're happy with me .
well , we made happy memories today again !! :D morning i woke up at abt 7am , saw 6am baby send de sms saying he's gonna sleep instead of work cuz he's been up all night . the night was a horrible blunder but it's all the past now . what matters most is our future together , as long as you're happy when you're with me .
baby and i went shopping at old woodlands today ! i bought what i need instead of what i want and for the first time , im super satisfied with it ! guess why ? cuz i bought new stuff ? cuz i spent my savings dry again ? cuz i went shopping ? WRONG !! cuz my candy was there for me the whole time .. just him and me , going shop to shop , buying one thing after another .. holding my hand through all the times , helping me carry stuff and even waiting for me to try on the jeans all the way at the other side of the area , planning the time together so that we can be efficient enough .. i really love you dear , looking at you browse through clothes after clothes doesn't make me feel that you're picky .. somehow i just like seeing you .. seeing you make your choice , being so clear of what you wanna get and making sure you don't buy things you don't need , seeing you smile when you're happy .. it really made my day .
we had dinner with sarah and gerald at admiralty kfc ! hahas .. hope sarah's doing well with gerald . seeing them ruffle so much really makes me worry . you know , sarah , if you ever read this , and if i were to be the one who walks you down the aisle , i'd really be able to rest in peace if gerald's the one you'd be marrying because he really cares alot about you , leaves his dignity aside and just go all way out for you . i believe you can feel that , right ? no offence . just wanna see you two happy together ..
it's been raining and drizzling the whole day .. and my candy's not feeling well now .. baby please rest and drink more plain water hao ma ? i really can't bear to see you fall sick cuz of hanging out with me .. as much as you need me , i need you too . you really showed me that true love's possible , as long as we learn to compromise and change for one another . i really cherish you . nobody has ever told me so sincerely the things you've told me , and the promise you've made to me . i promise i'll be the best you've ever had .
things i bought :
1) jeans ---------------- $21 (initially $24)
2) alteration ------------ $5
3) shoe ----------------- $16 (initially $16.90)
4) sports windbreaker -- $20
things he bought :
1) red audio technica headset ----- $15 (initially $16)
2) couple tee , bunny and doggy -- $27 (initially $30)
3) two neutrogena facial mask ---- $5.90
4) dinner at kfc ------------------- $11.80
oh yea ! candy mummy bought lunch-finger-food for us ! chicky chicky ~ hehes .. and we had chocolate ice cream while waiting for the rain to stop , in the noon . hahas .. gotta buckle up and start watching my tummy liaos .. can't afford to grow any fatter .. or stay the same .. gotta slim down . hmms .. candy mummy today talk abit fierce , then i thought she talking to baby , then i only heard "why will short of $10" .. then i got frightened .. tot candy mummy angry .. but turns out , she was actually talking over the phone .. hahas .. silly me .. >.< she's really nice to tabao something back for us .. made my heart feel warm warm de .. :)
alrights . gotta turn in soon ! schooling tml . sweet dreams peeps ! nitey nites ! :)
no ifs , no buts , just we'll be together forever .
the past is the past . none of it matters as long as you're happy with me .
well , we made happy memories today again !! :D morning i woke up at abt 7am , saw 6am baby send de sms saying he's gonna sleep instead of work cuz he's been up all night . the night was a horrible blunder but it's all the past now . what matters most is our future together , as long as you're happy when you're with me .
baby and i went shopping at old woodlands today ! i bought what i need instead of what i want and for the first time , im super satisfied with it ! guess why ? cuz i bought new stuff ? cuz i spent my savings dry again ? cuz i went shopping ? WRONG !! cuz my candy was there for me the whole time .. just him and me , going shop to shop , buying one thing after another .. holding my hand through all the times , helping me carry stuff and even waiting for me to try on the jeans all the way at the other side of the area , planning the time together so that we can be efficient enough .. i really love you dear , looking at you browse through clothes after clothes doesn't make me feel that you're picky .. somehow i just like seeing you .. seeing you make your choice , being so clear of what you wanna get and making sure you don't buy things you don't need , seeing you smile when you're happy .. it really made my day .
we had dinner with sarah and gerald at admiralty kfc ! hahas .. hope sarah's doing well with gerald . seeing them ruffle so much really makes me worry . you know , sarah , if you ever read this , and if i were to be the one who walks you down the aisle , i'd really be able to rest in peace if gerald's the one you'd be marrying because he really cares alot about you , leaves his dignity aside and just go all way out for you . i believe you can feel that , right ? no offence . just wanna see you two happy together ..
it's been raining and drizzling the whole day .. and my candy's not feeling well now .. baby please rest and drink more plain water hao ma ? i really can't bear to see you fall sick cuz of hanging out with me .. as much as you need me , i need you too . you really showed me that true love's possible , as long as we learn to compromise and change for one another . i really cherish you . nobody has ever told me so sincerely the things you've told me , and the promise you've made to me . i promise i'll be the best you've ever had .
things i bought :
1) jeans ---------------- $21 (initially $24)
2) alteration ------------ $5
3) shoe ----------------- $16 (initially $16.90)
4) sports windbreaker -- $20
things he bought :
1) red audio technica headset ----- $15 (initially $16)
2) couple tee , bunny and doggy -- $27 (initially $30)
3) two neutrogena facial mask ---- $5.90
4) dinner at kfc ------------------- $11.80
oh yea ! candy mummy bought lunch-finger-food for us ! chicky chicky ~ hehes .. and we had chocolate ice cream while waiting for the rain to stop , in the noon . hahas .. gotta buckle up and start watching my tummy liaos .. can't afford to grow any fatter .. or stay the same .. gotta slim down . hmms .. candy mummy today talk abit fierce , then i thought she talking to baby , then i only heard "why will short of $10" .. then i got frightened .. tot candy mummy angry .. but turns out , she was actually talking over the phone .. hahas .. silly me .. >.< she's really nice to tabao something back for us .. made my heart feel warm warm de .. :)
alrights . gotta turn in soon ! schooling tml . sweet dreams peeps ! nitey nites ! :)
no ifs , no buts , just we'll be together forever .
i love you like i always do.12:38 AM.
Sunday, November 14
days on my skin , lifetime on my heart
the 4 of us went IMM today for a walk , as well as dinner - at fish and co. , and i doodled on my candy today !! hahas .. dinner pics are with sarah , and we didn't snap pics of our doodles so .. perhaps next time ~ i can't remember what was ordered but i do rmb the bill - $55.90 from 2 set meals and 3 add-ons .. ex but filling , tasty and it's a good-dining-experience !! but if next time wan eat , maybe we'll get it on a weekday ? hahas .. ex .. ex ..
we had a lil hiccup today , due to the uncertainties we both had , but it's over !! and we're closer and better now !! baby wrote me a super long text message , that made me feel really really comforted .. and about the talk , i'm really glad we had it . it feels so different from talking over the phone and texting . though we blasted off at rocket speed , i'm glad our judgement wasn't wrong . we'll be even better as time goes by right ? :)
because true love isn't about getting someone better , but going through good and bad times together .
ilya.
the 4 of us went IMM today for a walk , as well as dinner - at fish and co. , and i doodled on my candy today !! hahas .. dinner pics are with sarah , and we didn't snap pics of our doodles so .. perhaps next time ~ i can't remember what was ordered but i do rmb the bill - $55.90 from 2 set meals and 3 add-ons .. ex but filling , tasty and it's a good-dining-experience !! but if next time wan eat , maybe we'll get it on a weekday ? hahas .. ex .. ex ..
we had a lil hiccup today , due to the uncertainties we both had , but it's over !! and we're closer and better now !! baby wrote me a super long text message , that made me feel really really comforted .. and about the talk , i'm really glad we had it . it feels so different from talking over the phone and texting . though we blasted off at rocket speed , i'm glad our judgement wasn't wrong . we'll be even better as time goes by right ? :)
because true love isn't about getting someone better , but going through good and bad times together .
ilya.
i love you like i always do.1:51 AM.
Saturday, November 13
♥ my pasta shi fu
beloved candy made creamy pasta today !! super duper loved it !! hahas .. baby study in the morning le jiu go help his father work , together with gerald . after that go bus stop meet up , all 4 of us - sarah , gerald , baby and me . and guess what happens after that ? eat , sleep and bathe ? shopping ? gaming ? WRONG !! HE MADE US DINNER !! hahas .. baby made pasta with alfredo sauce ! didn't make tomato de cuz sarah and me prefer non-tomato de .. finish ? no leyy ~ my bf leh ~ hahas .. he fried wedges for us after that , which was just nice and very filling ! BURRRRRRP !! XD
i broke my promise today by thinking too much again . i worried baby might leave me for someone else , and worried that these feelings are not genuine and just yet something else . well , that's just all my thoughts . someone's willing to take my hand and walk with me , include me in his life and live with me , what more could i possibly ask for ?
anyways , those are probably the first phase of my mood swings due to insecurity . i'm feeling way much better now le ! thanks my dear candy for bearing with me .. but please , don't ever breathe about separate ways so easily ok ? it will only add on to my insecurities and bleed me ..
rwarrs ~ hmms .. i left out afew things ytd !! how could i ever forget !! remember i wrote this :
"that my beloved would put his last name as mine , remembered so promptly what i craved for even when i myself forgot , spares thoughts about us rather thn gaming - to the extent of cutting down ." ?
well , i have to add on - he reads my blog promptly , cooks buay-sai-hiam de food for me , sings like a sentimental celebrity , and notices my feelings without me hinting ..
super sweet right ? got jealous ? hahas .. k lahs .. i'm kinda swinging nowadays .. but if you know me , after i'm done emo-ing , i'll be back on the sunny-side ! yes ! sunny side up ! hahas .. 虽然说。。我们认识的不久，但就是因为有一种。。在一起，就什么都不怕的感觉。。所以才会那么快配聚。对不起我偶尔难搞，但我希望你不会放弃 - 因为那才是真正的爱情。
不要说离开我会让我更快乐 ok?
ily.
i love you like i always do.1:04 AM.
Friday, November 12
爱上左撇子
we knew each other just 3 days ago , through two very special people - we were their buddies .
1st day was on monday 8th of november at that very place where we sang and enjoyed ourselves , followed by a series of botch i made , and his kindness . Tuesday was a very ordinary day which we chatted and texted alot , and had those tingy feelings for one another . wednesday was through real quick and all four of us met up for majong , slacky but still , it was a time cherished . thn at the very beginning of thursday , we kicked off as a couple .
it was really quick , i admit , but i really wanted to give it a try because the feelings were there and everything felt right .
though i've had many relationships before , but this was the first time that my beloved would put his last name as mine , remembered so promptly what i craved for even when i myself forgot , spares thoughts about us rather thn gaming - to the extent of cutting down . (thanks for the chocolate iceblend !! ♥ )
we met up after my school today . i sorta left sarah out .. girl , i'm sorry that i wasn't there .. i promise i'll be there the next time , won't let it happen again , it's a promise . so .. we spent about 5hours together , and it has really been long since i felt this safe in someone's arms . the soft kisses and warmth exchanged .. no words can describe how i feel .. how i look forward to lasting with you .
baby has got a task to do tomorrow before 10am ! hahas .. hope i rmb to remind him . hmms .. i gotta go now ~ take care peeps !
as uncertain as the future may be , i love you just ..
we knew each other just 3 days ago , through two very special people - we were their buddies .
1st day was on monday 8th of november at that very place where we sang and enjoyed ourselves , followed by a series of botch i made , and his kindness . Tuesday was a very ordinary day which we chatted and texted alot , and had those tingy feelings for one another . wednesday was through real quick and all four of us met up for majong , slacky but still , it was a time cherished . thn at the very beginning of thursday , we kicked off as a couple .
it was really quick , i admit , but i really wanted to give it a try because the feelings were there and everything felt right .
though i've had many relationships before , but this was the first time that my beloved would put his last name as mine , remembered so promptly what i craved for even when i myself forgot , spares thoughts about us rather thn gaming - to the extent of cutting down . (thanks for the chocolate iceblend !! ♥ )
we met up after my school today . i sorta left sarah out .. girl , i'm sorry that i wasn't there .. i promise i'll be there the next time , won't let it happen again , it's a promise . so .. we spent about 5hours together , and it has really been long since i felt this safe in someone's arms . the soft kisses and warmth exchanged .. no words can describe how i feel .. how i look forward to lasting with you .
baby has got a task to do tomorrow before 10am ! hahas .. hope i rmb to remind him . hmms .. i gotta go now ~ take care peeps !
as uncertain as the future may be , i love you just ..
i love you like i always do.12:27 AM.
Wednesday, November 10
认真 不代表永恒
did those coding today . kinda tough and long-winded but still , done to the max i could ..
had a really long conversation with someone today . was really surprised he called . a mixed feeling conversation i'd say ..
still , happiness seems to come hand in hand with the fear i see - they are so evident and so visible both together , at the same time . tearing me both ways , it sucks .. i can't imagine how this could actually happen .. i don't dare to talk about this much yet , because it's something .. that time hasn't approved ..
i was craving for subway and kfc (again) , chocolate ice blend , chocolate waffle .. but only get to taste the last one .. hahas .. actually can buy the choco ice blend de !! but i was on the phone , then i saw water-chestnut when i was really thirsty and my hands forgot about my heart for a moment .. rwarr ..
yet , i wish my body coordination could be like this forever .. then i probably won't feel that shock going through my hand each time i feel sad ..
if only i had a mini transparent globe to see through to the future ..
did those coding today . kinda tough and long-winded but still , done to the max i could ..
had a really long conversation with someone today . was really surprised he called . a mixed feeling conversation i'd say ..
still , happiness seems to come hand in hand with the fear i see - they are so evident and so visible both together , at the same time . tearing me both ways , it sucks .. i can't imagine how this could actually happen .. i don't dare to talk about this much yet , because it's something .. that time hasn't approved ..
i was craving for subway and kfc (again) , chocolate ice blend , chocolate waffle .. but only get to taste the last one .. hahas .. actually can buy the choco ice blend de !! but i was on the phone , then i saw water-chestnut when i was really thirsty and my hands forgot about my heart for a moment .. rwarr ..
yet , i wish my body coordination could be like this forever .. then i probably won't feel that shock going through my hand each time i feel sad ..
if only i had a mini transparent globe to see through to the future ..
i love you like i always do.1:23 AM.
Tuesday, November 9
kbox with a new face !
went kbox with sarah and bf , and a new face ! hahas .. his name's gavin . a very sweet , helpful and nice guy . his singing's nice too !! he was awfully late for about .. an hour ? bad huh ? ouh well , at least sarah and gerald's there . at abt 11pm , it suddenly struck me that i had to do my rj and everything ! oh no !! but guess wad ? gavin offered to let me go his fren's house do my rj .. nice right ? mission impossible , completed !
:D
my gastric didn't really act up tonight .. kinda ached here and there though .. sot de .. i had proper meals today cuz of it .. mixed veg rice packed at about 1pm , and home-cooked dinner at about 6pm . no glitch right ? hahas .. im soooooo craving for kfc and subway ..
:(
anyway , im thinking about what to wear tml liaos .. sian de .. if only i had an auto-wardrobe , which could help me suggest .. hahas .. but then again , who knows it might just pair me up with two sets of jeans eh ? lols .. maybe i should wish for a smart one , alright santa ? hahas .. hmms .. gotta wake up early tml .. but 7am's just too .. umm .. hard for me to get up ? no .. i think it's me .. me and my laziness .. rwarr ~ im sucha lazy bum ~ hahas ..
i wish your voice could be my lullaby ..
went kbox with sarah and bf , and a new face ! hahas .. his name's gavin . a very sweet , helpful and nice guy . his singing's nice too !! he was awfully late for about .. an hour ? bad huh ? ouh well , at least sarah and gerald's there . at abt 11pm , it suddenly struck me that i had to do my rj and everything ! oh no !! but guess wad ? gavin offered to let me go his fren's house do my rj .. nice right ? mission impossible , completed !
:D
my gastric didn't really act up tonight .. kinda ached here and there though .. sot de .. i had proper meals today cuz of it .. mixed veg rice packed at about 1pm , and home-cooked dinner at about 6pm . no glitch right ? hahas .. im soooooo craving for kfc and subway ..
:(
anyway , im thinking about what to wear tml liaos .. sian de .. if only i had an auto-wardrobe , which could help me suggest .. hahas .. but then again , who knows it might just pair me up with two sets of jeans eh ? lols .. maybe i should wish for a smart one , alright santa ? hahas .. hmms .. gotta wake up early tml .. but 7am's just too .. umm .. hard for me to get up ? no .. i think it's me .. me and my laziness .. rwarr ~ im sucha lazy bum ~ hahas ..
i wish your voice could be my lullaby ..
i love you like i always do.1:15 AM.
Sunday, November 7
this ain't working ..
it's the 3rd day i havn't been touching bonbons since the times i can't live without it .. i miss it so much .. but at the same time , i kinda made a deal with God that i'd repent if i get well .. well , i'm still dying .. are you gonna do anythg abt it thn ? i can't garuntee how long this deal is gonna work cuz i'm feelin pretty hopeless already yea ?
it's the first time in this year im falling sick . cough for 3 wks and now gastric for 3 days . i've saved up enough money to buy a new pair of shoes and probably a new bag too .. the old one's dying on me alrdy .. CHASIS .. dislike ! shud hav gotten a CHARLES AND KEITH back then .. oh well ~
it's the 3rd day i havn't been touching bonbons since the times i can't live without it .. i miss it so much .. but at the same time , i kinda made a deal with God that i'd repent if i get well .. well , i'm still dying .. are you gonna do anythg abt it thn ? i can't garuntee how long this deal is gonna work cuz i'm feelin pretty hopeless already yea ?
it's the first time in this year im falling sick . cough for 3 wks and now gastric for 3 days . i've saved up enough money to buy a new pair of shoes and probably a new bag too .. the old one's dying on me alrdy .. CHASIS .. dislike ! shud hav gotten a CHARLES AND KEITH back then .. oh well ~
i love you like i always do.12:07 PM.
Saturday, November 6
defeated by illness..
i cnt blog much tonight ..
cn hardly sit up straight ..
i went buona vista at 9am+ this morning , for fyp ..
had a mac treat by supervisor , total bill of $49 ..
bus down to orchard after that , by 106 ..
met up with sun and edwin , missed brenda ..
went to cineleisure to check the boots but it was sold out ..
so we flew to fareast , while having all the air expanding in my tummy ..
i still couldn't find the boots or shoe i want ..
so i mrt-ed to bugis to look lawrence and chiasien up ..
we finally caught [[the social network]] , it's really law-full ..
got drenched while walking to the bus stop , splashed by the car that drove by ..
shoe-soaked , felt unwell all over again , and now im feeling giddy ..
workshop's on tues , and the first paper's on wednesday ..
oh yea , and check out my [[new cupboard]] , with my "favourite" yellow color ..
gawd ..
just how much more sick am i supposed to feel before i feel better ?
*cries*
my mum's not at home , my sis's asleep ..
i don't even dare to switch on the fan ,
plus i don't know where all the medicines are ..
seriously , if there's anyone who would ignore me at this point of time ,
even forgetting to care when they've once confessed ,
slap yourself please ..
because your pride runs over your concern for me ..
because that shows pretty much how much you know about me ..
fainting off ..
if you can't care for me at this point of time , don't ever confess to me again .. you'll only hurt me ..
know why?
cuz when a person's sick , they need care and attention the most ..
if you can't even put that above your pride and self-centeredness ,
you obviously couldn't care less about this person whom you claim to love ..
i don't usually explain , but this is just one of those times im being long-winded ,
just cuz i bother to explain and not leave your clueless ..
hope you know how to appreciate it ..
=(
i cnt blog much tonight ..
cn hardly sit up straight ..
i went buona vista at 9am+ this morning , for fyp ..
had a mac treat by supervisor , total bill of $49 ..
bus down to orchard after that , by 106 ..
met up with sun and edwin , missed brenda ..
went to cineleisure to check the boots but it was sold out ..
so we flew to fareast , while having all the air expanding in my tummy ..
i still couldn't find the boots or shoe i want ..
so i mrt-ed to bugis to look lawrence and chiasien up ..
we finally caught [[the social network]] , it's really law-full ..
got drenched while walking to the bus stop , splashed by the car that drove by ..
shoe-soaked , felt unwell all over again , and now im feeling giddy ..
workshop's on tues , and the first paper's on wednesday ..
oh yea , and check out my [[new cupboard]] , with my "favourite" yellow color ..
gawd ..
just how much more sick am i supposed to feel before i feel better ?
*cries*
my mum's not at home , my sis's asleep ..
i don't even dare to switch on the fan ,
plus i don't know where all the medicines are ..
seriously , if there's anyone who would ignore me at this point of time ,
even forgetting to care when they've once confessed ,
slap yourself please ..
because your pride runs over your concern for me ..
because that shows pretty much how much you know about me ..
fainting off ..
if you can't care for me at this point of time , don't ever confess to me again .. you'll only hurt me ..
know why?
cuz when a person's sick , they need care and attention the most ..
if you can't even put that above your pride and self-centeredness ,
you obviously couldn't care less about this person whom you claim to love ..
i don't usually explain , but this is just one of those times im being long-winded ,
just cuz i bother to explain and not leave your clueless ..
hope you know how to appreciate it ..
=(
i love you like i always do.11:57 PM.
Friday, November 5
deepavali poison ..
i went drinking with lawrence , weizhi n his gf , chiasien and eugene . from bout 11pm till 2am , and i started feeling the gastric constrictions .. at first , i thought i was just thinking too much , but then , it was real ..
the gastric went on and on , and soon , at about 3am , i started the regurgitating process .. the constrictions got more and more evident to the point i can't stop shivering . i got home at about 4am . by then , my head was all over the place .. i vomited countless times , my tears came to confront me , and my body just keep dying .. everything was so real and so painful , i thought i might die .. my stomach kept feeling like it's gonna burst anytime , and the strength i had was so minute !
at that point of time , dying could have been a better option .. but i was just that timid . i lighted incense , i cried , i just kept telling myself "i shudn't have .. i shudn hav .. if i have a chance to live through this , i promise i'll repent .."
i was supposed to visit my grandpa with mother, her hubby and sis this morning at about 8am . at about 6am , my sis came to wake me up , saying that i need to be ready to leave in 15mins time . there i was , lyin on the bed so dying .. i couldn't be bothered at all . thn tad bit later , mother came in and i just kept holding her hand , telling her how i feel .. she sounded a little worried but nothing more . all i heard was "why didn't you tell me ? why didn't your friends send you to the hospital ?"
i passed lawrence my remaining two box of bonbons , though i still have 3 with me , i really don't feel like it anymore ..
to that someone who kept wanting to meet me when i was a mess : i guess we're just not meant to be .. cuz no matter how many times i've told you not to be pushy , you just kept filtering that through .. maybe you really wanted to take care of me , but i really don't do things that way .. it's just not me to be like that .. sorry ..
there's no perfect one anymore ..
i went drinking with lawrence , weizhi n his gf , chiasien and eugene . from bout 11pm till 2am , and i started feeling the gastric constrictions .. at first , i thought i was just thinking too much , but then , it was real ..
the gastric went on and on , and soon , at about 3am , i started the regurgitating process .. the constrictions got more and more evident to the point i can't stop shivering . i got home at about 4am . by then , my head was all over the place .. i vomited countless times , my tears came to confront me , and my body just keep dying .. everything was so real and so painful , i thought i might die .. my stomach kept feeling like it's gonna burst anytime , and the strength i had was so minute !
at that point of time , dying could have been a better option .. but i was just that timid . i lighted incense , i cried , i just kept telling myself "i shudn't have .. i shudn hav .. if i have a chance to live through this , i promise i'll repent .."
i was supposed to visit my grandpa with mother, her hubby and sis this morning at about 8am . at about 6am , my sis came to wake me up , saying that i need to be ready to leave in 15mins time . there i was , lyin on the bed so dying .. i couldn't be bothered at all . thn tad bit later , mother came in and i just kept holding her hand , telling her how i feel .. she sounded a little worried but nothing more . all i heard was "why didn't you tell me ? why didn't your friends send you to the hospital ?"
i passed lawrence my remaining two box of bonbons , though i still have 3 with me , i really don't feel like it anymore ..
to that someone who kept wanting to meet me when i was a mess : i guess we're just not meant to be .. cuz no matter how many times i've told you not to be pushy , you just kept filtering that through .. maybe you really wanted to take care of me , but i really don't do things that way .. it's just not me to be like that .. sorry ..
there's no perfect one anymore ..
i love you like i always do.3:33 PM.
