Friday, October 8
you're gonna catch if i fall
been spamming insecure smses to my boy cuz ever since he booked in on sunday evening, monday was fine, tuesday was still bearable but on wednesday.. on wednesday i received only 5 text messages from him throughout the whole day!! i was like.. are you seriously so busy? then the following day went on without any shit.. so when i got home, i laid on my bed and kept thinking.. is it possible? i tried calling and it got through!! i was so happy until my calls weren't picked up for more than 5times.. on the 11th call, he answered.
things were really bad for him. he's having a really hard time adapting to the life in there, yet the authorities were picking on him. he just kept going on and on about feelings really lousy and not having the mood to talk. then he paused, and replied me verbally on the insane messages i've sent him, saying i still treat you as my girlfriend and i'm really happy to have you. please don't anyhow think right now ok? i'm trying my best now but i need more time. tomorrow i can't book out, only on saturday.. but i don't even know the time. i'll meet you on saturday ok? or sunday..? then i blurted monday.. and he continued monday you starting school is it? and i sniffed and said tuesday. he knew i cried and immediately asked and comforted me. he knew.. he just had to handle himself too before he could get the right mood and chance to handle me.
life, as i know, is getting more and more stressed up. i don't get to hear from him often, and i might not be able to even see him. this is the time i have to discipline myself and not stray into someone else's arms.
i'm stressed about what i should prepare for the upcoming school semester. stationaries? notebooks? lecture pads? sticky post its? a bigger pencil case? a new bag?
i don't have the cash for it and i was thinking if i should pick it from my mother or father but when i text my mother about the furnitures for my room, she was screwed up enough to not reply me, and only acknowledge the message when i asked her verbally. just what am i go her? someone for her to complain and seek advice from when she has problems about her hubby, someone whose diet she doesn't even care about, someone insignificant in her heart?
i saw her.. hugging the man of her life and just ignoring what i brought up.. she totally disgust me.
i'll never understand what should kinship feel like.
been spamming insecure smses to my boy cuz ever since he booked in on sunday evening, monday was fine, tuesday was still bearable but on wednesday.. on wednesday i received only 5 text messages from him throughout the whole day!! i was like.. are you seriously so busy? then the following day went on without any shit.. so when i got home, i laid on my bed and kept thinking.. is it possible? i tried calling and it got through!! i was so happy until my calls weren't picked up for more than 5times.. on the 11th call, he answered.
things were really bad for him. he's having a really hard time adapting to the life in there, yet the authorities were picking on him. he just kept going on and on about feelings really lousy and not having the mood to talk. then he paused, and replied me verbally on the insane messages i've sent him, saying i still treat you as my girlfriend and i'm really happy to have you. please don't anyhow think right now ok? i'm trying my best now but i need more time. tomorrow i can't book out, only on saturday.. but i don't even know the time. i'll meet you on saturday ok? or sunday..? then i blurted monday.. and he continued monday you starting school is it? and i sniffed and said tuesday. he knew i cried and immediately asked and comforted me. he knew.. he just had to handle himself too before he could get the right mood and chance to handle me.
life, as i know, is getting more and more stressed up. i don't get to hear from him often, and i might not be able to even see him. this is the time i have to discipline myself and not stray into someone else's arms.
i'm stressed about what i should prepare for the upcoming school semester. stationaries? notebooks? lecture pads? sticky post its? a bigger pencil case? a new bag?
i don't have the cash for it and i was thinking if i should pick it from my mother or father but when i text my mother about the furnitures for my room, she was screwed up enough to not reply me, and only acknowledge the message when i asked her verbally. just what am i go her? someone for her to complain and seek advice from when she has problems about her hubby, someone whose diet she doesn't even care about, someone insignificant in her heart?
i saw her.. hugging the man of her life and just ignoring what i brought up.. she totally disgust me.
i'll never understand what should kinship feel like.
i love you like i always do.1:50 AM.
