Thursday, September 16
wednesday is not ladies night.
for the first time, i pon-ed clubbing. cuz JY had some last minute crop ups, then left just me and HH.. so i thought it'd be better to just call off the whole thing. on the other hand, my heart ran away with the idea of overnight majong so.. yea, my night was spent majong-ing instead of clubbing.
more and more things went thru my head as the night grows older.. some was filtered, some was left over. but what i couldn't understand most was the final decision i had to make.
but no matter what those decisions were, i know my feelings were real and it was something you never knew.. not because you didn't want to, but because i didn't dare to. i was too afraid to let down my defense, too afraid of what might become of us if i were to take that risk.
he's someone i want to settle down with.
someone who adds meaning to my life with his smiles, takes my breath away with every look.. someone i could be myself with. he doesn't have to make me stay because i wouldn't wanna run anywhere else except to places where i could see him and for him, i would learn how to be a real lady, someone whom he can feel proud to fall in love with.
he knows why he should always hold me tight and will always tries his very best to be there for me. he might not be able to read my mind, but he will ask about it because he cares. he's patient and honest with me. our journey might not be smooth-sailing, but one thing i'm sure there'd be.. is understanding.
everyone's been hurt before and it doesn't matter what we've been because we'll truly love and love deeply. we will be what we want to be because we'll share a common believe - love makes us a better person.
if i kept wanting you, then i'd be really selfish. if i kept avoiding, i'm gonna fall really sick.. but above all my feelings stands only your happiness, the extraordinary events it became each time i catch you smiling.
unpleasant stay home thursday------------
my folks cranked again. it was all the same old lines except this time, my mum was more dramatic. she banged her head against the wall, and too, smoked. when i stopped her from banging the wall, she tried to bite her tongue; when i stopped her from smoking, she simply got so fed up she ceased the burning using the sole of her feet. totally sick and frustrating.
i know she's trying to gain attention from her hubby and test if he'd feel aches in his heart but all these, was just too much for us to witness, let alone for her to suffer.
i just feel so sick looking at the drama even though i know exactly how she felt. i just felt so helpless.. even sis cried outta heartache..
seriously, i don't know what to say..
for the first time, i pon-ed clubbing. cuz JY had some last minute crop ups, then left just me and HH.. so i thought it'd be better to just call off the whole thing. on the other hand, my heart ran away with the idea of overnight majong so.. yea, my night was spent majong-ing instead of clubbing.
more and more things went thru my head as the night grows older.. some was filtered, some was left over. but what i couldn't understand most was the final decision i had to make.
but no matter what those decisions were, i know my feelings were real and it was something you never knew.. not because you didn't want to, but because i didn't dare to. i was too afraid to let down my defense, too afraid of what might become of us if i were to take that risk.
he's someone i want to settle down with.
someone who adds meaning to my life with his smiles, takes my breath away with every look.. someone i could be myself with. he doesn't have to make me stay because i wouldn't wanna run anywhere else except to places where i could see him and for him, i would learn how to be a real lady, someone whom he can feel proud to fall in love with.
he knows why he should always hold me tight and will always tries his very best to be there for me. he might not be able to read my mind, but he will ask about it because he cares. he's patient and honest with me. our journey might not be smooth-sailing, but one thing i'm sure there'd be.. is understanding.
everyone's been hurt before and it doesn't matter what we've been because we'll truly love and love deeply. we will be what we want to be because we'll share a common believe - love makes us a better person.
if i kept wanting you, then i'd be really selfish. if i kept avoiding, i'm gonna fall really sick.. but above all my feelings stands only your happiness, the extraordinary events it became each time i catch you smiling.
unpleasant stay home thursday------------
my folks cranked again. it was all the same old lines except this time, my mum was more dramatic. she banged her head against the wall, and too, smoked. when i stopped her from banging the wall, she tried to bite her tongue; when i stopped her from smoking, she simply got so fed up she ceased the burning using the sole of her feet. totally sick and frustrating.
i know she's trying to gain attention from her hubby and test if he'd feel aches in his heart but all these, was just too much for us to witness, let alone for her to suffer.
i just feel so sick looking at the drama even though i know exactly how she felt. i just felt so helpless.. even sis cried outta heartache..
seriously, i don't know what to say..
i love you like i always do.11:24 PM.
