Wednesday, September 29
a very slow and messy day..
i went over woodlands and met up with donald, sarah and her bf. in between i quarreled with my mother, had a little chat with bff's mummy, felt fat, craved and thought of giving up everything.
well, my mind's in a whirl. quarreled with my mum over some stupid vege issue. i was like "you didn't buy vege or cook vege, so i bought and cooked. shouldn't you at least return me some money?!" and she was like "nobody ask you to buy it~ im not gonna be like your father and let you claim your losses everytime you buy groceries!!" and then i went on and on about my her always saying our pocket money comes from my father, and that she's kind enough to give me $40 extra every month. the only stupid fact i can't understand coming out from her is this lil thing she says all the time "my husband is to support me, not you guys.. so your pocket money should be those coming from your OWN father!!" WTF??
and for the 100th time, i feel so uber stupid again!! i don't want to be the one writing sweet text messages for you when you never wrote any back for me can? i want to be able to stay away from the phone when you're urgently looking for me, long enough for you to run over my house to look me up, worried sick. im done being so underclass, so foolish and giving so much for someone i wanna be with but when it comes to counting the things he's done for me, im just twisting something outta nothing.
and im done being that stupid.
i went over woodlands and met up with donald, sarah and her bf. in between i quarreled with my mother, had a little chat with bff's mummy, felt fat, craved and thought of giving up everything.
well, my mind's in a whirl. quarreled with my mum over some stupid vege issue. i was like "you didn't buy vege or cook vege, so i bought and cooked. shouldn't you at least return me some money?!" and she was like "nobody ask you to buy it~ im not gonna be like your father and let you claim your losses everytime you buy groceries!!" and then i went on and on about my her always saying our pocket money comes from my father, and that she's kind enough to give me $40 extra every month. the only stupid fact i can't understand coming out from her is this lil thing she says all the time "my husband is to support me, not you guys.. so your pocket money should be those coming from your OWN father!!" WTF??
and for the 100th time, i feel so uber stupid again!! i don't want to be the one writing sweet text messages for you when you never wrote any back for me can? i want to be able to stay away from the phone when you're urgently looking for me, long enough for you to run over my house to look me up, worried sick. im done being so underclass, so foolish and giving so much for someone i wanna be with but when it comes to counting the things he's done for me, im just twisting something outta nothing.
and im done being that stupid.
i love you like i always do.11:59 PM.
